Explorer Blog

What Sets Us Apart - The Explorer Commitment

2012-02-12T05:13:00.000-08:00

By Teacher Konne Ainsworth, Explorer Director

Several commitments at Explorer have set the course of the school. The commitment to parent education definitely sets us apart. There is often confusion about parent education and parent participating. There can be a huge difference between the two. At Explorer, we are not just a school with parents “babysitting” kids and washing paint brushes. We train parents to be good observers not only here, but at home. We train parents to work in a professional way with children, using the tenets of positive discipline and using observations to teach the developmental norms of each age group. We budget for parent education classes (PECs) that are the envy of some schools. We try to have excellent classes and challenge parents to be better parents at the school, at home, and in the community.

Another commitment is to have high quality teachers and hold them to a high standard. Our teachers are highly trained and have experience and a commitment to professional growth. The board at Explorer is very supportive of the teachers and continues to respect their input and also implements the programs that the teachers value. Our teachers have also worked and played together for years and have mutual respect for each other, helping one another be the ‘best that they can be.’

We are also committed to giving the teachers autonomy to develop curriculum and provide enrichment activities that other schools cannot provide, such as art shows, dad’s days, and field trips, which include the Monterey Bay Aquarium and summer camps, to highlight fun activities for mixed ages. Our curriculum is based on Developmentally Appropriate Practice and is aligned with Creative Curriculum, but includes the California state curriculum framework standards for preschool.

As the director, I encourage teachers, parents, and children to embrace the natural world, while acknowledging that we are in Silicon Valley, a science Mecca. Science is the foundation of learning, so I believe that teachers and children need to ‘explore’ the world as it relates to children. We encourage the scientific method and promote inquiry in all areas of learning.

A big decision and commitment was made to move to Willow Glen. We have enjoyed the facility, building a $160,000 yard complete with vegetation, which supports children learning in a safe, challenging, and natural environment. We love the outdoor classroom: with its water play, garden, physical challenge area, and large enough space that fosters independence. Willow Glen was surprisingly multi-ethnic, and we have enjoyed the many cultures that have joined to make the Explorer community. It is nice to teach in a community that embraces diversity, so we can actually ‘live it’, instead of just reading about it.

And, I also feel I made a good decision with my commitment to stay on at Explorer---to grow and learn as a parent, teacher, and member of the community.

Developmentally Appropriate Practice

2012-02-12T05:03:00.000-08:00

By Teacher Konne Ainsworth, Explorer Director

We educators sometimes fail to make sure that what is understood by us is understood by parents, too. I thoroughly believe that a major part of educating children is creating a bond between parents and teachers to together provide what's right for children.

In the past, educators were driven by materials and information that needed to be “taught” to children. Curriculum was designed primarily by publishing companies, which interpreted what districts wanted to have taught to children in each grade. Teachers were often given materials for each subject area with little training in presenting the material. Lectures were common, and rote learning was thought to be effective, that is, children would be trained to just parrot back what an adult said. Hands on materials were limited.

Through research, particularly that of Jean Piaget, and the reality that our education system was often ineffective, some changes have been made. Many of the changes came from early childhood educators. We have come to call some of these changes developmentally appropriate practice (DAP), to reflect the research based on the needs of the child. Learning proceeds in a predicable and logical way based on a child’s growth and development, but how it is nurtured is essential. Children are being asked to do more divergent thinking and be more involved in their own learning. We also believe that each child's learning style, maturity level, and interests are unique and need to be respected. Some teaching practices have changed. Unfortunately, many elementary teachers are not required to take child development courses in conjunction with teaching practices.

Cooperative learning means that children are grouped together to help one another rather than tracked into homogeneous groups. This is very effective in elementary school. For instance, four children may work together in spelling: one having mature skills, one needing help, and a couple in the middle having medium skills. They would discuss words to be learned, form strategies, and work together. Thus, the focus would shift from that of competition to that of cooperation. These days, however, the stress of being at the ‘top of the class’ and being competitive is increasingly becoming more important, but it is really not the best ‘learning’ environment for most children. It’s something to think about: when the focus is on competition, not cooperation, you might get into the best college…but cannot work well with anyone!

Another major change in teaching reading and writing comes from knowing that young children have varying degrees of readiness to read. The whole language approach encourages children to dictate stories before they formally begin reading. Children can then 'read' their own words, and as they get older, they can illustrate and edit them. Children may also decide their own spelling words, make their own books, and read various levels of literature, rather than reading basal texts, which assume that all children learn at the same rate. Basal texts do have more of a scheduled phonetic approach though, so they are used, too. Most good teachers use multiple approaches when teaching children in the areas of literacy and other disciplines since we know that children have many modalities and styles of learning. However, the testing focus has had a fairly negative effect on many teachers who feel they NEED to teach to the test. Parents are still confused about the role of testing and how if benefits children. I encourage you to ASK about the value of the testing when your child enters elementary school. Be an advocate for children.

Five Golden Things

2012-02-12T03:43:00.000-08:00

By Sub. Teacher Paula Oakes

At Explorer, there is always a hand to hold and something to discover. The education and experience of the lead teachers is unsurpassed!

Each month, I visit five classes and see, in their beautiful arc or spectrum, the progress of parents and children as they move through our school.

1. Parents gain skills and support, invaluable to their ability to cope and participate in all that is required of parenting during the preschool years. Parents’ progress follows that of the children—they gain competence, confidence, and community. These are essential to life beyond preschool.

2. When children see their parents participate, it validates the importance of school, education, and community. The children also benefit from having supported and skillful parents.

3. The children gain social skills that help them negotiate relationships at each age/stage. Through interaction in a developmentally appropriate environment, children gain esteem through competence and confidence.

4. Children’s cognitive skills and love of learning through discovery will carry them through their next learning & school experiences. When learning takes place in a natural way, it contributes to cognitive structure and connections and even a sense of wonder that is essential for continued educational success.

5. Parents, teachers, and children learn and work together through supportive, caring relationships, which is one of the strongest predictors or indicators of educational health. The greater community benefits as families move out beyond the preschool: participating, leading, and sharing these golden things…

There's More to Open House...

2012-02-12T02:25:00.000-08:00

Explorer Open House is coming up! Here are the details.

Explorer Open House

Monday, February 13th, 2012

9:00 AM – 2:00 PM

Fall 2012 Enrollment

Open House is a great way for everyone to see the parent participation program we have at Explorer Preschool. Please tell your friends, family, and neighbors with preschool-age children to come and visit us at Open House. For those interested in coming to this event, there will be tours of the school and a chance to observe the classes in progress. There will be knowledgeable parents on hand to answer questions.

But, there’s more to Open House than meets the eye! Keep reading to discover one parent’s perspective and emotional connection to the open house event last year…

By Solvay O’Leary, an MW2/MWF mom, Children’s Ed Committee Chair

New to the San Jose area, I first discovered Explorer Preschool while attending a Las Madres event in January of 2010. I was looking for a parent participation preschool for my 2 ½-year old son (and eventually my 10-month-old daughter). It immediately caught my interest mainly because we could walk to it from our new home.

What a gem I discovered when I toured the school later that month during the annual open house! I loved the space right away. It felt big, but purposeful. I felt that a child could grow here and not feel confined by the same rooms each year. The children would have freedom to move about and explore at their own pace. A current parent joked that some kids sit at the snack table for the first few months and then one day decide “I’m going outside!” and aren’t seen again for snack for the rest of the school year!

During the tour, I had a chance to chat with some of the working parents. These were people that I wanted to be friends with! They were genuinely enthusiastic and interested in my children and me. Although difficult to pinpoint the exact quality, it was obvious that my tour guide was genuinely comfortable at and proud of the school. It seemed rushed to apply right then, but after touring the school and meeting the working parents, I had nothing to lose. I was pleased to find out soon after visiting that we got a spot!

Jump forward one year and I found myself working at the open house. My own feelings when touring were now corroborated: I was proud of my school and genuinely wanted prospective parents to feel the same good feelings I had felt about the space and working parents. After spending time in the classroom and performing my various school commitments, I had realized how important it is to have a positive, strong parent base at our children’s schools. Explorer’s respect for parents and focus on parent education is one of their key strengths and the driving force behind putting our best face forward at Open House.

Gender Identity

2012-01-26T18:10:00.000-08:00

By Teacher Annie Castle Deckert

Every child just wants to be loved and accepted for who she or he is. Teachers and parents at Explorer work hard to make it a place where every child can feel comfortable, happy, confident, and joyful. But, are we doing that well enough? In an ideal world, it would be a "given" that children and adults should feel free to just be themselves, but unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world.

This interesting and thought-provoking article speaks to the issue of gender identity, an area of acceptance that we don't often talk about. It describes a teacher's experience of dealing with gender stereotypes in the classroom. After you read it, let us know your thoughts! Our community is strengthened by sharing and discussion, and we all have lots to learn from each other about children and parenting.

http://togetherforjacksoncountykids.tumblr.com/post/14314184651/one-teachers-approach-to-preventing-gender-bullying-in

Powerful Play

2011-12-11T05:20:00.000-08:00

by Teacher Annie Castle Deckert

Yesterday, I got to spend an hour doing “nothing” with a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old. We found a weedy, empty lot, and we went exploring. The children pulled and picked, poked and prodded, stomped and stepped, looked and listened. Their joy and contentment was viral, and it quickly infected me, too.

The 4-year-old immediately entered a world of pretend, inspired by the surroundings. The dead weeds were “Grain Of Wheat! My mom makes me bread out of this! It’s delicious!”, and she set to work gathering the “grain” for a new batch of pretend bread. The 2-year-old rejoiced in the sensation of pulling grass out of the damp ground by the stems, and crunching leaves and dead plants under foot. Together, they found “treasure,” sang and talked to each other, and giggled about how funny it was to smash clods of dirt under their feet. They discovered together how shaking the branches of a shrub caused the fluffy seed to fly into the wind, looking like snowflakes.

When it was time to leave, we didn’t want to go! The children had been creating magic out of “nothing” for an hour, and none of us wanted to break that spell. When we got back into the car, we all agreed that we felt refreshed, even though it was late in the afternoon, and NONE of us had gotten our nap that day.

This magical hour might not have happened. The kids’ nanny had first intended to bring a video for them to watch when she was planning for this expected wait-time while she had a doctor’s appointment. But then, wise young woman that she is (my daughter, Audra!), she realized that the doctor’s office had some empty space next door, and suggested that maybe I could take them for a walk outside while she was seeing the doctor. Think about the contrast: turning our brains off for an hour while watching a video vs. the brain stimulation of fresh air and pretend play. If we’d gone the video-route, I’m certain that we would have ended up with two cranky, wired kids instead of the refreshed, enthusiastic, yet calm kids we buckled into the car after this hour of quality outdoor play.

Kids are BORN to play. They crave play. They want and need nothing more than to explore, pretend, and experience the world through their senses. Nature (even a tiny courtyard, patio, or backyard) is the richest environment for quality play. Simple, kid-generated play is the best. In yesterday's play, our “toys” comprised weeds, grass, and dirt. Fancy, expensive, glittery beeping toys are attractive enough to distract kids from their real business of learning and growing. When they get to immerse themselves in kid-driven (not toy-driven) play every day, they feel great. They feel like themselves. Through quality play, kids’ brains grow and neural connections multiply, laying the foundation for all future learning. Taking the “easy” route and falling back on videos and toys designed to be entertaining rather than useful inevitably results in kids who are frustrated and bored.

Yesterday's experience reminded me of a post about toys, which I wrote for my blog a year ago:

http://teacherannieexplores.blogspot.com/2010/12/have-yourself-open-ended-christmas.html

And my thoughts about the benefits of quality play were reinforced this week by these posts from other sources:

With Building Blocks, Educators Going Back to Basics - NYTimes.com

The 5 Best Toys of All Time

(It almost sounds like the people who wrote these articles had been reading my blog, or attending Explorer PEC’s!)

In addition, you might want to check out our local “Wild Zone” group:
http://www.wild-zone.net/www.wild-zone.net/New_Social_Space.html

'Twas a Day at Explorer

2011-11-30T22:33:00.000-08:00

By Katie Berg, 4-day parent and Explorer President

A year ago today, on the last day of November, I took my son to his 4-Day class and prepared to have an average day at Explorer Preschool. After settling in, I took a moment to look around and realized something great about the school---even the average days are magical. Inspired by the season and the holiday events at school, I wrote the following “’Twas a Day at Explorer”. This year has been equally magical as I have shared similar experiences with my daughter in the 4-Day class. Happy Holidays!

‘Twas the day before December, 12:15 at Explorer,

Teacher Konne looked out at the classroom before her;

The cubbies were waiting for backpacks to fill them

By students named Debbie, Samantha, and William.

Teacher Jackie was ready, all set for the day

While the children arrived to learn and to play,

And I in my Explorer shirt, donned the apron of blue

While my son signed his name and washed his hands, too,

When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, with wind in my sails,

I saw a full workbench, with hammer and nails

The children all pounded, safety glasses in place,

Sawing blocks of wood using tools from the case

When, what to my wondering ears should arrive

But a bunch of the children traveling inside

With a curly-haired teacher, sharing a rhyme,

I knew in a moment it must be group time.

More rapid than eagles, kids sat in the circle

And Teacher Konne announced, "Welcome, Group Purple!"

"Now, children! Now, listen! Now, sit on your bottoms!

The Nutcracker costumes have arrived; I've got 'em!

To the start of the music, to the start of it all,

Now, dance away! Dance away! Dance away all!"

As soldiers and mice practiced, all quite able,

The hungry kids came and sat at snack table;

There I waited, with latkes to toss

As they grated potatoes and spooned applesauce

And then, in the science room, laughter and cackles

As children learned why a dry leaf crackles;

All over the floor, covering the room

While the clean-up parent prepared to vacuum

In the literacy room next door, there were boxes

That children learned to wrap, as quickly as foxes;

Paper and tape, what more could they need?

And gift-giving teaches generosity, not greed

And where did they get the paper for wrapping?

Check the art station, you’ll hear table tapping;

They’re stamping the paper, all on their own

Preparing to wrap the gifts to take home.

Their eyes -- how they twinkled! Their dimples how cute!

Their cheeks were like roses as they carried their loot

Back to their cubbies, ready for giving

Along with the lessons that make life worth living:

These kids learned of holidays and family traditions

Through various hands-on, fun expeditions

They learned of the world, of friends, of self-control,

Of things that affect mind, body, and soul.

They sprang to their carpool, to their friends gave a whistle

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

I wanted to exclaim, as I drove out of sight,

“For us, Explorer Preschool is doing it right!”

Sibling Rivalry

2011-11-20T04:34:00.000-08:00

By Geri Wong, an MWF parent

Every parent raises their children hoping that the siblings will grow up together and enjoy a lifetime of harmonious companionship, friendship, and support for each other. But, if you've got more than one child who's an active preschooler, like I do, that can seem like a very lofty goal. Or is it? The Siblings Without Rivalry PEC seminar helped me understand the underlying causes for sibling rivalry in easy-to-understand concepts and provided some practical steps to minimize conflicts as well as resolve them when they occur. On a deeper level, the speaker made me realize that even though my kids are young, they are every bit full of emotion, pride, sense of reasoning, and eagerness to please as any adult. They want and need people to respect them and the things that are important to them.

One of the tools presented was to give each child a protected play space—an area and toys that they can claim as their own. The protected play space is their safe place where they can play without worrying that their sibling will knock down, say, their best train creation ever. I found that sharing was actually easier for my kids when they knew they didn’t have to share everything. It was amazing to me how major an impact such a minor physical change to my children’s environment had on their interaction with each other. I learned that as parents, we can’t control everything, but we have the power to create an environment that fosters respect and consideration for each child, which, with a little luck, can place them on a path toward a wonderful relationship with each other. What more could a mother ask for?

Kids will be Kids? I Don't Think So

2011-10-30T13:29:00.000-07:00

By Fouzia Ahmad, an MWF parent

To all those who justify their kids' bullying behavior with notions such as 'kids will be kids', let me say this. Or better yet, let me quote President Obama, who says: “[Let’s] dispel the myth that bullying is just a harmless rite of passage or an inevitable part of growing up. It’s not. Bullying can have destructive consequences for our young people."

Ever since I can remember, I've been passionate about the bullying issue. Have I ever been bullied? No...well, nothing that caused any psychological damage, anyway. Nor have I been a bully, just to be clear! Maybe it's all those stories I heard growing up that just stuck in my mind. The taunting, the slanders, the suicides...

October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and it's a great time to raise awareness on an issue that is nothing short of a epidemic in our schools. I always knew that bullying is a 'problem', but the statistics were quite a revelation to me. Here are a few facts about bullying that will---if you're like me---make your jaw drop:

American schools harbor approximately 2.1 million bullies and 2.7 million of their victims. What? Almost as many bullies as there are victims?

1 in 7 students in grades K - 12 is either a bully or has been a victim of bullying. That's a LOT closer to home than many of us may have imagined.

About 160,000 children miss school EVERY DAY out of fear of being bullied. This means that, apart from being a safety issue, it impacts education, too.

Revenge for bullying is one of the strongest motivations for school shootings. If today's bullies are potentially tomorrow's criminals, you'd think they'd take more serious measures to eliminate the problem.

There's a lot of criticism on how schools are dealing with the issue. And for good reason. Clearly, something's not right, or we wouldn't be seeing the staggering numbers I mention above, not to mention a rise in cyberbullying, LGBT bullying, and bullycides. Most schools implement a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to bullying and other violence. However, research is showing that this policy is not an effective solution when it comes to bullying. For example, in many cases when bullying incidents are reported to school authorities, both the bullies and the victims get suspended from the school. Umm, no thank you. That's definitely not going to encourage a victim to come forward and report an incident. Moreover, simply punishing the bullies means that we're overlooking what caused them to become bullies in the first place, and that we're not addressing the root of the problem: why did the bully feel the need to bully someone?

Interestingly, 47 out of the 50 states actually have anti-bullying laws (although the terms and clauses vary), but having a law is one thing and policy implementation and accountability is quite another. Anti-bullying laws can definitely stand to improve and school systems need to get their act together and clampdown on the issue with a more collaborative approach. Meanwhile though, the bullies aren't going anywhere, and our kids are left to the mercy of, well, us. So, what can we do to protect our children and our communities from bullying?

I really like the NEA bullying campaign slogan, which says: Bully Free, It Starts with Me. Just to clarify, I am not endorsing the campaign in any way. But, ignoring its context within the campaign, I really like how the slogan reads. Think about it. We can't fully control the outside environment: the laws, the school policies, the teachers, the bystander students, and definitely not the bullies. But, what we can have great control over is ourselves and our children, and that's where we should start (i.e. It starts with Me). I truly believe that we need to make our kids resilient to bullying from the inside out. So, how do we do it? One word: SELF-ESTEEM.

Bullying is mostly psychological. Emotional bullying, which is the most prevalent type, causes psychological damage in its victims. This is why self-esteem is so important. Kids with good self-esteem are shielded from bully attacks because they feel good about themselves and who they are, whereas kids with low self-esteem are less likely to stick up for who they are, becoming a prime target for bullies who are looking to pick on someone weaker than them. You know, as parents, we often think of 'kindergarten readiness' as developing reading, writing, and math skills, whereas we should pay as much attention, if not more, to our child's emotional and social development, at the core of which is self-esteem.

We should focus on our kids being confident and proud of their individuality, while teaching them to respect others' differences, too. We should help them develop empathy, communication skills, and sense of self-efficacy that will preclude their ever feeling a need to bully another child.

Here are a couple of resources with info on how to build your child's self-esteem:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_ten-ways-to-build-your-childs-self-esteem_65569.bc
http://life.familyeducation.com/self-esteem/parenting/34401.html

On a side note, I personally think that martial arts can also help prevent bullying to some extent. Not because it provides physical preparedness (although that helps!) but because martial arts gives children the mental strength, confidence, and posturing necessary to project a sense of being in control---tools that are important to ward off that bully looking for potential targets.

Finally, many parents think that bullying isn't something that they need to worry until their kids hit middle school. Not true. Cases of bullying are known to happen to even very young children. A recent survey of Massachusetts third-graders found that 47 percent had been bullied. This evolution means that parents and teachers need to be on the lookout for cases of bullying that happen even at the preschool age level.

For more information on dealing with bullying and bullying prevention, you can check out:
http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/dealing-with-bullying.html
http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/prevent-bullying.html

Meanwhile, here's leaving you, Explorer parents and teachers, with a few thoughts and questions that I would love to get your input on:

Most of us try to prevent our children from becoming the victims of bullying, but how many of us try to ensure that our kids do not become the bully?

In the (blessed) scenario where our children are neither the target nor the bully, but just the bystander, have we educated our kids on how to respond when they witness bullying in front of them?

How can we identify a bully in the making? What behaviors can we look at in a child in, say, preschool and say...hey, this kid might end up bullying later. Let's address this early on, so that he/she never gets to that point?

Has anyone had any bullying-related experiences that you could share with us and help educate and prepare us for?

My Obsession with Sugar

2011-10-21T17:57:00.000-07:00

By Stefanie Bellucci, 4-day parent and board member

My transition from the Explorer world of healthy snacks into the big-kid, elementary school snacking world has been quite the eye-opener. Sugar has become my enemy and is constantly in my thoughts. I am pretty much convinced that SUGAR, in one form or another, is my children’s main food group and source of calories. Amidst softball game and girl scout camp snacks, frequent birthday party treats, and the seemingly daily celebrations at school and their grandparents' house, my kids have no room left in their diet for the forgotten meat, dairy, and vegetable/fruit food groups.

I often wonder how my family got to this point. What used to be the occasional treat has not only become daily (and sometimes hourly) but is often a packaged, unrecognizable snack with more ingredients than I can count on two hands. Looking back now at my pre-kids self, I can only laugh at my naivety, for thinking that I would actually have some control over what my kids ate.

One of my biggest sources of frustration with the sugar fixation is that among a group of well educated adults at my children's elementary school, I often feel like the lone voice of reason. Does that parent really need to bring juice, packaged cupcakes, and gummy worms for snack after softball? And then there is my friend who declares an eat-as-many-as-you-want popsicle day for her daughter when the weather is hot. I even had a child's family member once tell me that unlimited cookies are "just a part of childhood." Umm, I thought that childhood was when we learned healthy eating habits? And with all these constant treats, when do I, the parent, actually get a chance to make cookies with my kids or buy them frozen yogurt without feeling guilty for giving them even more sugar?

Unfortunately, my obsession is becoming a part of every food conversation I have with my children. I find myself doing all those bad-food-parent acts, such as labeling good food and bad food, struggling with the kids over eating healthy food rather than unhealthy treats, and creating general discontent at the dinner table. And yet, the words just tumble out. The irony of the situation is that maybe those parents are right. Will allowing all the treats and avoiding the food battle make our kids healthier eaters in the long run? I don’t have the answer and as with all questions kid related, I will continue to figure it out as I go along. Meanwhile, I would love to hear how you moms in the same boat deal with this. Do you find yourselves in a constant battle, or do you have a go-to strategy that you know always works? How do you regulate sugar levels---not to mention sanity levels (umm, your own!)---in your kids' lives?

The Veggie Challenge

2011-05-23T15:48:00.000-07:00

By Paula Ould, Together Time parent

Farmer’s Market season is upon us. We often attend the Cambrian Farmer’s Market each Wednesday from May through September. It’s been a chance for us to get out of the house for dinner, meet friends for a picnic and to try new foods.

Last summer a friend of ours challenged many of us to “The Veggie Challenge.” She had read about it in a parenting magazine and thought it would be fun if many families rallied around and did the challenge together. I never could have imagined the impact it would make on my family. Up until The Veggie Challenge, my family’s veggie repertoire consisted mainly of peas, carrots and corn. On occasion, when I was feeling brave, I would throw in an artichoke, potato or zucchini or two. I didn’t like veggies as a kid (think canned peas here) thus they never entered into my routine as an adult. And I really didn’t like the battle that was caused between my parents and I about what I would eat and how much. For me, personally, it was one factor that lead to an eating disorder later in life which I really did not want to pass along to my three children.

So, what is the Veggie Challenge? Well, each of us parents tailored it to our individual families. The ultimate goal was to get kids to eat more of a variety of vegetables. Most of us used a two week system where our kids were encouraged to have a serving of veggies at lunch and dinner. At the end of the two weeks the kids had a reward as did a charity of their choice. My eldest daughter wanted to spend her money on books while my youngest daughter wanted Barbies. Both daughters wanted their charity money to be spent abroad for the soldiers who were fighting for our freedoms.

I used the Farmer’s Market as a tool for the kids to get involved with what they ate. Each week we would walk down the row, look at foods and guess what they would taste like. We discussed how each one could be cooked and how the cooking methods would change how they tasted. The girls (6 and 4 at the time) would each pick out a vegetable to eat in the following days. We tried broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts (from the grocery store), various types of potatoes, summer squash, kale, and many more. There were plenty of meals that were absolute flops for the entire family. However, almost one year later, our veggie menu has grown tremendously! Each of the girls will now frequently ask for bell peppers, broccoli, snap peas, and asparagus. They no longer automatically turn their noses up to new foods, veggies or not. A wide variety of fish is now among our diet including salmon and catfish; both which are loved by many members of our family. And, on occasion when they do put up a fair amount of resistance, I remind them of last summer’s Veggie Challenge. They have come to love foods I never would have imagined to have as staples in my fridge.

We have yet to make it to the farmer’s market this season, but the girls continue to ask when we can go. My goal this year is to have my son, age 2, pick out veggies, and other foods, he would like to try. I need to continue to remind myself to place the importance of healthy choices for our family and to not be frustrated when they do put up a fight to not eat certain foods.

Spring Cleaning For Parents

2011-04-18T20:45:00.000-07:00

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller of Personal Power Press

Rake the yard. Clean out the garage. Go through closets. Donate unused items to charitable organizations. Wash windows. You know the drill. It’s called SPRING CLEANING.

But what if spring cleaning took on a new twist this year, one that would benefit your children greatly? What if you cleaned the cobwebs out of your mind? What if you wiped away all the limiting beliefs that keep you from becoming the parent you always wanted to be? What if you cleaned up a broken relationship, mended a mental fence, or reminded yourself about the importance of your role in your child’s life? This spring might just be the ideal time for cleaning up your responsibility as a parent. Consider the ideas below.

Reawaken your curiosity. Clean out your present expectations and your knowing of why your children do things. Return to wonder. Be fascinated by what they do. Let yourself be awed. Allow your curiosity to bloom this spring.

Eliminate judgment. Judgment keeps you from seeing your children clearly. If you judge a child as lazy, you are less likely to see ambitious behavior. If you judge her as uncaring, you will have difficulty noticing her benevolent acts. Clean the lens in your eyes by reducing the number of judgments through which you perceive your children.

Be out of your mind. Use silent times to wash old and useless thoughts from your mind. Resist the urge to overanalyze parenting issues. Stop thinking and cluttering your mind with incessant chatter. Listen to your heart. Follow your intuition. Pick parenting strategies that have your heart in them.

Appreciate the moment. The best present to give your children is to be fully present when you are with them. Throw out thoughts about the future and the past when you interact with your children. There is only one moment to see, feel, express, learn, grow, or heal with your children. This is it. Pitch the rest.

Clean up your schedule. Every child in the world spells love, T-I-M-E. Adjust your priorities. Pick through your list of social and business activities. Get rid of old obligations and habits that prevent you from investing time with your children.

Apologize and begin again. Spring is the time of new beginnings. Do you need to begin again with one of your children? Do you need to make amends? If so, tell him or her what you learned and what you intend to do differently from now on. Then follow through.

Cut down on talking. Reduce your need to explain, lecture, moralize, rationalize, and convince. The first step towards love is to listen. Give your children the gift of your presence by hearing rather that telling, by acknowledging instead of convincing, by understanding rather that jumping to conclusions.

Rework truth. Cleanse your mind of the notion that there is ONE truth. You know your truth. Allow your children to find theirs. Model for your children how you live your truth. Support them in their efforts to find their own truth and encourage them to trust it.

Fix it up. What parenting concerns need to be fixed in your home? Do you need to fix a relationship, the use of the TV and the internet, or a reoccurring stress? Fix your mind first so you are tuned into fixing problems rather than fixing blame. Maintain a solution-seeking mindset as you fix it up this spring.

Give yourself a perception check. Remember, you can choose to see any parenting situation differently from the way you are presently seeing it. Perception is always a choice. Clean up your mind by asking yourself, “Is this way of seeing this problem the one that brings the most light and love to the situation?” Use springtime to enlighten your parenting perceptions and actions.

A thorough spring cleaning of your parenting style could make your home sparkle. It could be like a fresh coat of paint that brightens the exterior and the interior of yourself and your children. It might work like the cleansing combination of adding energy and love to a bucket of soap and water. Brighter, cleaner, healthier family relationships could well be the result of your spring cleaning this year.

Happy cleaning.

Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of Teaching The Attraction Principle to Children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it visit www.personalpowerpress.com.

Off Loading Big Feelings

2011-03-31T20:19:00.000-07:00

by Amy Trayer, 4-day parent and board president

I took my 5 year old twins to their favorite store recently to help me pick out a birthday gift for a friend. I don't make it a habit to buy them something every time we are out (especially since they just had a birthday). In fact, we've been really working on this - talking beforehand about what we are going to buy, to not ask me to buy them anything once we are there and I often try to shop without them to avoid arguments altogether. It's been working most of the time, other times huge meltdowns happen because they want me to buy them something (forgetting our deal!). It's an on-going learning process for all of us. On this particular day I told them ahead of time that when we got to the store, we would buy their friend a gift, and they could each pick something out for themselves (I was feeling generous, it's been a good week). They did great! They spent a lot of time really thinking it over and they each found something they wanted at a reasonable cost (which we've also been talking about). Everyone left happy – success!

After wearing her new nightgown all evening, my daughter came out of bed that night very upset. She did NOT like her new nightgown, in fact she wanted to take it off and take it back to the store right now. She wanted a different one. She began to shout at me and get very upset. She refused to go to bed. I could have gotten very angry, yelled and physically put her back in her bed. But instead, I took a deep breath and decided to just listen and let her unload these big feelings.

I calmly walked her back into the bedroom with her brother watching and listening the entire time. It was about 40 minutes of her crying and telling me all sorts of things: she wanted to rip up the nightgown, she wanted to throw away everything in the house, she wanted a different nightgown, grown-ups are not in charge, grown-ups get mad at children, she misses daddy (he's been working long hours lately), she doesn't like any of her toys, her brother is mean to her and much more........

How did it end? NOT with me yelling or getting mad or thinking she's acting spoiled by wanting a different nightgown or feeling frustrated that it’s now way past her bedtime and I’m not getting anything done that I had planned. I realized she needed to unload and I let her. I didn't interrupt, I didn't tell her to stop or force her to go to bed and I didn't tell her we'd go back and get her a new nightgown. I just listened. I stayed close. I looked her in the eyes the whole time. After, she began to calm down and she hugged me for a long time and we snuggled together in bed until she fell asleep. As I lay there, I was thinking how letting her pick out one thing in her favorite store was probably really overwhelming and she was regretting her decision now and that was very upsetting to her. Or maybe that shopping experience was the catalyst for off loading these other feelings she had built up inside of her. Probably a little of both. Whatever it was, it ended with her feeling reconnected again and me feeling good that I handled it the way I did.

For more information on Parenting by Connection, visit their website.

Honing My Nurturing Instinct

2011-03-07T21:21:00.000-08:00

by Denise Ferguson, T/Th parent

In the book “Nurture Shock” the authors introduce the notion that parents rely on the impulse to nurture but have to figure out how best do it. I completely agree with this. For the first few years of my daughter’s life I relied on my instinct A LOT. This seemed so easy to me. I’m not saying that I knew immediately what to do but my instinct told me whether I could implement a parenting plan.

When I needed to make a decision, I contemplated it, discussed it with my friends, family and husband and then implemented it. IF I felt good about the decision, I could go through with it. If not, then I had to go back to the drawing board – or whatever parenting book I had on my nightstand. For example, letting my child cry herself to sleep. Yes, I did that but only when she was ready (ie and when I was ready to follow through with that plan). My willingness to follow through was my indication that I believed it to be the right thing to do.

That system of researching and contemplating is no longer an option. My child can speak and demands an answer promptly. I no longer have the luxury of taking the time to dig deep into my parenting resources and come up with an answer, try it, and see if I feel good about it. To be prepared for everything that my child comes up with is impossible. But after reading “Nurture Shock”, I am confident that there are a handful of guidelines that I can implement in my household to make parenting my growing child possible.

The author's daughter at Explorer's front gate on her first day of school.

I could probably get by on my parenting impulse but what Po Bronson offers is a way to better nurture my child. My impulse might get me through an awkward or embarrassing situation with my child but it won’t enable me to turn those moments into opportunities to teach my child valuable lifelong lessons. This concept has been particularly insightful for me and having Po Bronson present it in person at Explorer Preschool last month was a memorable and motivational event.

One specific example is related to instances when children lie. Po discussed the fact that children lie, the reasons that children lie and the ways to handle it. I had suspected my daughter has lied to me a few times but it wasn’t until I heard Po speak about it and the ways to address it that I took her lying seriously. Not only did I take her lying serious but I also looked forward to the next lie she told! She told a lie this morning and I got the chance to try Po’s instructions. His instructions were to and show how happy you are when the child tells the truth.

Embracing honesty is only the first of many of Po’s parenting suggestions that I will implement in my parenting technique. As I go to implement the next one I will remember Po’s talk.

NutureShock paperback vs Tiger Mother: A Letter from Po Bronson

2011-02-02T15:41:00.000-08:00

So this reveals what a groupie I am...but yes I'm on Po Bronson's email list. And while he signed my hardcover copy of NutureShock last night, I also got permission to re-post the letter below. I'm planning on writing a post with some of the highlights from last night's talk at Explorer, but in the meantime thought this would be interesting to share since he did spend quite a bit of time on Tiger Mother. --Kim Kooyers, MW2s.

January 18, 2011

Dear Readers,

The really good news is, I can run again. Not very fast. And only once or twice around a track. There's about a kitchen faucet's worth of titanium in my hip and pelvis, installed four months ago. I am in awe of what doctors can do these days. Man, I am happy. The last eighteen months I had a hard time working, I could barely walk and was often on crutches, one surgery had failed, and all I could think about was the joy of running around freely like a kid.

The saving grace this past eighteen months - at least during the daytime when I sat here at my desk - was the ongoing success of NurtureShock. I really want to thank our readers for that. Even after the launch, the book continued to sell so well in hardcover that there seemed to be no need to release it in paperback. It spent over 365 days in Amazon's nonfiction Top 100, and was named to over thirty "Best of the Year" lists, by iTunes, Barnes&Noble, Discover, The Onion, and so many others.

Finally, though, NurtureShock is now out in paperback. So if you have a friend...maybe a friend whose teenagers are starting to rebel...or a friend who is trying to boost the confidence of his five year old...or a friend who has to constantly separate young siblings from arguing in the back seat...please buy some more copies. And thirty of our best Newsweek columns from last year are posted on www.nurtureshock.com.

If NurtureShock was last year's big child development book, without a doubt the even bigger parenting book of 2011 is Amy Chua's "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother," which everyone's been talking about since an excerpt ran in the Wall Street Journal nine days ago, titled "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior."

I actually read the book months ago - read it when I got out of the hospital. My old Random House boss Ann Godoff now runs Penguin, and she'd sent me a galley. In NurtureShock (p 22), we wrote about a study that compared mothers in Hong Kong against mothers in Illinois, which used hidden cameras to record mothers talking to their 11-year-olds during a break between two short pattern-finding IQ tests. After the break, the Chinese kids' performance leaped 33 percent, largely because their mothers used the five minutes to tutor their kids. The American mothers mostly used the five minutes to chill and take the pressure off. So Ann thought I'd like the book, and I was glad she had a hit for her house.

I just couldn't endorse the book, though. Not because Amy Chua admits to insulting and guilting her daughters constantly...and not because Amy Chua deprives her kids of playdates and sleepovers...and not because Amy disses athletics and drama. Believe me, I've spent years now watching scholars' videotapes of how parents and kids really interact, I get used to that stuff.

Rather, I couldn't endorse it because too much of the book felt like braggadocio about how great her daughters were at piano and violin. Hey, we all do it...we take immense pride when our kids do well...some of that pride slips out now and then, absolutely...but a whole book predicated on children's superiority made me uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, despite all the objections and caveats, Tiger Mother is really selling. The fact that people are buying the book - not just talking about it - suggests there's a real craving out there for inspiration, maybe permission to push kids a little harder when they don't try. And that is partly the same vein that catapulted NurtureShock, going back to our original article on the science of praise. However, that's where the similarity ends.

Over the holidays, coincidentally, I also read Andre Agassi's memoir, Open. Both Open and Tiger Mother are stories of parents gone maniacal in their drive to make their kids number one, at the expense of any real childhood. The difference is, while Andre Agassi still loved his dad, he knows that doesn't excuse what his dad did to him. Even when he became #1 in the world, it didn't excuse it. A lost childhood has no price.

Ashley and I have studied parenting in China quite a bit, and two points are immediately relevant. The first is, the tradeoff between being a warm, loving, cuddly parent and being a parent who makes your child focus on learning is a false tradeoff. Going back to that study of mothers in Hong Kong I mentioned, during that five-minute break the Chinese mothers smiled and hugged their children just as much as American mothers did (and were no more likely to frown or raise their voices.) Importantly, these contemporary Chinese mothers did not insult or guilt their kids.

So when you hear about top math scores from Shanghai, don't think the success comes from cruel and harsh parenting. It comes from being supportive of learning.

We have to be careful in judging kids behavioral outbursts. Every time a pundit goes to a grocery store and sees a four year old throwing a tantrum, they write a column how American parents have become softies. They long for the old days when kids were obedient. The truth is, parents have two choices when their kids act out. They can appeal to reason, or they can demand strict obedience. Modern parents, for the most part, appeal to reason. Over time, this is good for the kids - they become independent thinkers, they learn to reason back and forth with adults, and they can stick up for themselves. But in the short term, when they're five or six years old, they're not very rational yet, and they act out more. They throw more tantrums, they can be disruptive, et cetera. Demanding strict obedience at all times ends it - but at a long term cost.

And with teenagers, we so often focus only on external rebellion. It's certainly the most visible. But teens whose need for autonomy is suppressed often have internalizing problems, such as depression.

Depression is actually becoming a huge problem in China. The work of Dr. Keng-Ling Lay in Taiwan has discovered one of the reasons why. She studies children and teenagers who've been told all their life that the secret to success is hard work - and yet, despite trying their best, never become A-students, or gifted musicians, or top athletes. They believe their inability to work hard enough is innate. They see no path to success, and feel like failures. It's sorta obvious, but this is the downside of kids living in any environment where success is defined in such limited ways. Dr. Lay says that parents are changing rapidly in Taiwan, but teachers are not. (Maybe this was why NurtureShock was a bestseller in Taiwan, too.)

Anyway, I've rambled enough. Here's a link to the most-frequently-tweeted column that Ashley and I wrote last year: Why Teens Are Growing Up So Slowly Today.

thanks again,

Po

Waiting for Po

2011-02-01T23:05:00.000-08:00

by Anne Castle-Deckert. Crossposted on Exploring With Teacher Annie.

Children deserve parents who think. They don’t need parents who are perfect, or who have all the answers. (What a burden that would be! Please don’t saddle your kids with perfect parents- what a nightmare.) But I think families really thrive when parents put some thought into carefully considering at least some of their day-to-day parenting choices, rather than letting chance or whims dictate the family’s direction. And it seems even more important that parents are willing to challenge their own thinking from time to time, and look at things from an entirely new point of view. In parenting, mental effort counts for a lot.

These were my thoughts a few minutes ago, while driving home from tonight’s fascinating talk at my preschool by Po Bronson, the author of the best-selling book, Nurture Shock.

Wow--Po Bronson speaking at Explorer Preschool! What an event this was for a little school like ours. We have been waiting breathlessly for Po’s visit since last summer when our Parent Ed. Chair-mom, Katie, somehow used her magical powers to persuade him to speak at our school. And let me tell you: it was worth the wait. Po was amazing. Even with our break-time cookies calling to us from the other room, and babysitters turning into pumpkins, no one wanted his talk to end.

Some comments I heard from parents, and from the mentor teachers and college instructors that were also in attendance:

How can he know so much, remember so much, and recall all that information so easily?

He’s able to explain complicated concepts in a way that’s easy to understand. This is not the case with most people who are as brilliant as he is!

How can he know so much, remember so much, and have all that information on the tip of his tongue?

I feel good about my parenting after hearing him, even though I now think I need to make a couple of changes. Some experts just make me feel like a crappy parent, and I don’t need that--I feel bad enough already about all my mistakes.

He’s one of us! He’s just a dad, and he understands what it’s like to be a parent like me.

I can’t wait to read some of his other books and articles!

He was so much fun to listen to—I lost track of time.

Everything he said made me love our preschool even more.

It’s hard to change your mind about things that you’ve always thought were right, but when Po explains why another viewpoint is better, it makes a lot of sense to me.

I’m going to ask my spouse to read this. And I think I’ll buy a copy for my nanny too.

This is giving me a lot to think about.

I really hope he continues writing about child development topics.

He really cares about this stuff, and it shows.

We can’t all have a Po-chip implanted in our brains, ready to call up and analyze the research data to make sure that our every decision is right. In fact, I’ll bet that even Po finds that chip a little hard to access at times. (Maybe we should discuss this with his wife….!) But most of us can think about what he talked about tonight, read or re-read Nurture Shock, and maybe discuss it with friends at our Aprll Book Club evening. That’s perfectly good enough. Just a little thoughtful effort can help us all be better parents and teachers.

Local Parenting Event: Teaching Children to Think and Act Ethically

2011-01-25T17:30:00.000-08:00

Here's an event Explorer parents might want to check out (especially if you need a PEC make-up!)

Just Because It’s Not Wrong Doesn’t Make It Right:
From Toddlers to Teens, Teaching Children to Think and Act Ethically

Sponsored by Parents Place, a timely lecture and discussion with practical advice on how to use everyday life to teach children to act with integrity, civility, responsibility, and compassion. Barbara Coloroso will teach parents, educators, and professionals how to nurture and guide children’s ethical lives from toddlerhood through the teen years using everyday situations at home, at school, in social settings, and in the world at large.

Monday, February 7, 2011, 7:00 – 9:00 pm
Menlo-Atherton Performing Arts Center
555 Middlefield Road, Atherton

Tickets $20 online/advance; $25 at the door; scholarships available
Simultaneous translation in Spanish
Click here to register

Contact: Stephanie Agnew at 650-931-1841 or StephanieA@jfcs.org.

About Barbara Coloroso
Barbara Coloroso is a bestselling author and an internationally recognized speaker and consultant on bullying, parenting, teaching, school discipline, positive school climate, grieving, nonviolent conflict resolution, and restorative justice.

Join us at Explorer's Open House

2011-01-16T10:37:00.000-08:00

Annual Open House
Monday, January 31, 2011, 9AM-2PM.
2700 Booksin Avenue, San Jose, CA 95125.

Explorer Preschool offers classes for children 14 months to 5 years, monthly parent education programs and speakers, experienced and credentialed teachers and is accredited by the National Association for the Education of Young Children. This is a great opportunity to tour the facility, see classes in session and fill out an application.

New Year Resolutions

2011-01-05T23:05:00.000-08:00

by Teacher Jackie Kite

Think of it as a fresh start. A new beginning. A time to make changes. But lets be realistic here. You are still the same person and cannot change overnight. Just like cleaning your house...you need to work on changing things a bit at a time so it does not become overwhelming.

So imagine if you aspire to be a better parent in the coming year. What would that look like? Having more patience? Listening more? Being more consistent? We are not looking for perfection here, but maybe wishing to improve.

The problem is...we are only human! We ALL make mistakes. Including the teachers! The key is learning from those mistakes. Sound familiar? And then we have to deal with children who are not perfect either.

Sometimes we focus on the negatives and overlook the positives in our child's behavior. When I hear a parent say their child had a bad day...do they really mean their child had a tantrum or an attitude for 24 hours or do they mean there was a three minute episode in Safeway when the child did not get what they wanted? Hmmm.

So lets decide to be the best parent we can be given the situation we are in. We all want the best for our children so let us be the best parent for our children. Believe me, I am still resolving to be that parent for my own grown children.

Parenting is a never ending, evolving process and I will support any parent in their quest to be the best parent for their child.

Good luck and Happy New Year!

Have Yourself An Open-Ended Christmas

2010-12-15T22:59:00.000-08:00

by Anne Castle-Deckert. Crossposted on Exploring With Teacher Annie

Let me be honest: if you offer me a choice between a nice gooey Snickers Bar or a crisp, healthy carrot, most of the time I’m pretty likely to take you up on the candy, and defer the carrot to “later.” And I’m an adult who knows better. But if sugary stuff isn’t one of the choices, I am quite happy with healthy rabbit food. Carrots are yummy, when you’re in the habit of eating them, and when you’re not comparing them to junk food. Besides, I’ve learned by now that I feel better on a diet of good veggies and other healthy things, and I feel worse when I over-indulge in sweets. But still…… if you give me the choice, I don’t always make the decision based on what’s best for me.

Similarly, many of the toys that are currently popular for young children just make me sad. That’s because they are the toy-equivalent of the above-mentioned Snickers Bar: they’re appealing and irresistible, but not nourishing. Many toys have features that immediately catch the eye and appeal to children, and therefore to parents. The challenging thing is to figure out which toys will “feed the brains” and stir the imagination of our kids, and which ones are intellectual junk food.

Here are a few of my “rules of thumb” when thinking about which toys are worth your children’s time. For simplicity, I’ll talk about only two categories: “Good Toys” and “Bad Toys.”

-If it needs batteries, it may be a Bad Toy, unless it’s a tool of some sort like a music player or a flashlight. Batteries mean that it will be producing some sort of action on its own, and therefore is likely to do most of the playing FOR the child, instead of allowing the child to play.

-Does it beep, flash, or make noises? Does it contain a computer chip? Bad Toys often do, because toy designers and sellers obviously think kids are stupid and can’t have fun on their own, without the toy “entertaining” them. Besides, think about how very tired YOU will get of those beeps and noises over time. Do you really need another irritation? Save yourself the anguish: skip the beeping, blinking toy aisle entirely.

-Is it something brand new that you’ve never seen before? Sometimes Bad Toys are exciting because they are new and novel. But think about it: many Good Toys are things that have been part of childhood forever, and will never be trendy, but will also never go out of style. Think about balls, blocks, basic dolls, simple toy cars and animals, etc. Not to mention the very basic playthings like rocks, sand, water, magnets, crayons and paper, and the Good Old Basic Stick or Deluxe Cardboard Box.

-Is it based on a tv show, movie, or video game? Is there a ride somewhere in a faraway theme park based on it? If so, be wary that Bad Toy-ness can be lurking beneath a seemingly innocent façade. When a toy originates with a media character, 90% of the imagining has already been done, by the “professionals.” They even call themselves Imagineers! What 3 year old can compete with that? Most of the time, kids love media-based toys, but it’s clear that their imaginations do not soar to new heights with this type of plaything. They stick to the “script” when playing with this type of toy, and most of the benefits of pretend play are lost. We preschool teachers know that children are the “professionals” when it comes to play, and we look for toys that will be useful tools for their creative minds.

-Can it be used for just one thing, or can it be played with in many ways? Good toys are usually what we in the kid-business call “open-ended.” This means that the child can play with the toy in many different ways, and almost any way the toy is used will benefit the child’s development.

-Would you see this toy at preschool? (Meaning, a GOOD, developmentally appropriate preschool.) If not, maybe we don’t have it at school for a reason. Just like we try to discourage the serving of donuts and M&M’s at the preschool snack table. (Except occasionally to the grownups, when the kids are not looking.)

-Will your child be able to enjoy this toy for at least 3 or 4 years, or will the child become tired of it within weeks? Open ended toys (Good Toys) have a very long kid-life. They never go stale.

-Will it enrich your child’s life, or the toy company’s profits? Good Toys don’t have to be expensive, and you don’t have to have lots of them to have fun. Just as junk food is expensive even though it has little nutritional value, Bad Toys are a waste of money.

-Who are you buying the toy for: your child, or YOU? If your grown-up heart secretly desires the latest electronic beeping, jumping, singing, dancing, hot rod space captain nuclear star wars race car bunny rabbit, go ahead and buy it for yourself. But be sure to stock up on lots of batteries. You’re a grownup, and your brain is already supposedly finished growing. A Bad Toy probably won’t harm your development.

With a little bit of extra thought and strength of character on your part, your child can have a calm, happy, satisfying, growing time this holiday season, and this year’s new toys will follow him or her into many new stages of development in the future. But somebody probably needs to forward this message to Santa and Grandma, because they may not understand your child’s brain as well as you now do.

Ok, time to go raid the Halloween-candy-stash. I’m a grownup, so I can eat what I want, even though I’ll pay for it later. But while I nibble on chocolate, I think I’ll go immerse myself in a good book. Even though it’s really easy and appealing to flip on another episode of my favorite mindless TV show, I know I’ll get more benefits and feel happier in the long run if I give my brain the nourishment that it really needs.

Which reminds me: Good books are the BEST gift for children! But that deserves its own blog post, so we’ll talk about books another time.

My Gym: a fun place to go on a non-school day!

2010-12-12T21:48:00.000-08:00

by Lisa, TTH

My 3 1/2 year old son has been enrolled in My Gym's Mighty Mites (3 1/4 - 4 1/2 years) for about four months and we love it. It's a safe indoor playground where children can develop gross motor skills. My son loves the variety of activities…the entire configuration of the gym changes weekly. The flow of the one hour class is consistent, but the activities are always new. The class starts by everyone being prompted to introduce themselves and answering an age appropriate question, this week it was "what is your favorite vegetable?" They warm up and jump into some sort of group activity like a relay or other game. Then the class is broken in half for two gymnastics tricks where children learn basic skills like "airplane arms" for balance or "tuck your chin" for forward roll safety.

The teacher takes time with each child, skill level doesn't matter. Free play follows and simple rules are given and the kids repeat each time, "one friend on the trampoline at a time", for example. The class wraps up with a Simon Says sort of game and maybe a puppet show. Kids don't linger after class because there is a race to put shoes and socks to get "stamparoos". My son has really learned how to do a somersault, how to balance with airplane arms and generally try new things that seem tricky or scary.

We haven't done many enrichment programs, but I highly recommend My Gym on Bascom.I continue to be impressed with the quality of teachers, the positive discipline approach used in class and range of activities they do ever week. They offer "mommy and me classes" from 6 months to 3 years and independent classes from 3 years to 13 years. Enrollment in any class entitles you to come any time for free play sessions. The added benefit that keeps me coming back is that classes roll over if you miss - it isn't "use it or loose it" (unless you pay by the month).

Seeing Double in the 4-Day Class

2010-11-18T19:55:00.000-08:00

Amy's twins at Explorer's 4-Day outdoor classroom.

By Amy Trayer, Explorer board president and 4-Day parent

When you first walk into the 4-Day class at Explorer, you will probably see 25 very busy children building blocks, looking at books, writing in journals, eating a snack, painting, dressing up, riding bikes, making mud pies in the playhouse or playing with the classroom pet rat, Daisy. Children in this class have to be four years old by July 1, so at this time in the year some children are already starting to turn five while the others are anxiously counting down the months until their “big day.” What you might NOT notice right away is that there are SEVEN sets of twins in the class. Yep, you read that right--over half the class is twins. But wait, it gets better: two out of the three teachers in the class are a twin and two parents in the class have identical twins. Twins definitely rule in this Explorer classroom.

Why so many twins in one class? Let’s just say word travels fast in the twin community and a few years ago several of us who had twins quickly spread the word on our parents of multiples club online forum about this fabulous parent participation preschool. The play-based, developmentally appropriate curriculum and parent education is why you come to Explorer. Reality is as a parent of multiples (or even two small children) preschool can be quite expensive so affordable tuition is a big draw as well. We didn’t all know each other ahead of time--there were two new families that just happened to register and that just happened to have twins also. This class was destined to have many multiples!

Seven sets of twins on the class roster meant we had more children than parents. Scheduling six working parents in the classroom per day could get a bit tricky. Each parent of twins works double (two times per week, instead of one) and luckily we have a fabulous class rep who does all of the scheduling AND who happens to be a twin herself AND has a set of twins that graduated from Explorer’s 4-Day class two years ago. Thank goodness our class rep is a twin “sympathizer.” We all breathed a sigh of relief. If anyone could manage this crazy schedule, she could!

It’s been so much fun seeing all the twins in action. We have a great mix of boys and girls: two sets of g/g twins, two sets of b/b twins and three sets of b/g twins. They are all fraternal too! Having a sibling in the class is definitely an advantage, but it’s also important that they create other friendships as well--something we are all working on with our children. All the twins have been split up into different small group times and more often than not, they choose to sit next to someone other than their sibling during whole group times.
Other than having to work double in the classroom, having twins in the 4-Day class means double the laundry! Each child wears the Explorer T-shirt 4 days per week which means 8 shirts that need washing plus some extras (coming home messy means a good day at school). Most families carpool and luckily I was able to find two other moms with cars as big as mine that can fit four booster seats.

Personally, I have really enjoyed watching my boy/girl twins grow and change over the last three years at Explorer. This is the first year I’ve watched them be more independent from each other. My son, who in the past would want to play only with his sister, is now seeking out other children to play with and creating friendships. They will start kindergarten next year and the big question for most parents of multiples is whether to keep them in the same class or separate them. Some schools already have a policy in place, but our home school does not. I probably won’t know what my preference will be until the end of this school year because something tells me my twins are going to change a lot in the next few months.

If you do visit the 4Day class at Explorer, you might not notice the seven sets of twins when you first walk in because each child has a unique personality. What you will notice are the seven tired parents of twins who are working double time because being at Explorer is so worth it!

How Much Screen Time Do YOUR Kids Get?

2010-11-10T22:11:00.000-08:00

If you didn't catch the Mercury News article last week, Young Kids and Computers: A Balancing Act by Sue McAllister, you might want to check it out. Local families dish on what their household rules are on electronic media.

It would be interesting to hear how other Explorer parents handle this issue, in light of the the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation that media use of all types should be limited to two hours a day and that kids under two years shouldn't have any screen time at all.

Do you think that's too much? Too little? What kind of rules do you have in your house and how do you enforce them? Comment below and let's exchange strategies. I'm sure Explorer Teachers have some thoughts on this, too!

Quoting Linda Murray, editor-in-chief of BabyCenter, I thought the article's conclusion was a good reminder about modeling:

Most important, the experts say, is a tip that might be the most difficult one for parents in Silicon Valley: to set a good example for their young children. That can be hard, when "we've got our BlackBerry, and we're checking it every second," Murray says. If parents want their kids to exercise, read and spend time with their friends, they need to do the same themselves. "That's really the most powerful teacher," she says.

It's not all about you

2010-10-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

by Anne Castle-Deckert. Crossposted on Exploring With Teacher Annie

Sometimes I can't believe the things I say to parents in my class at preschool. The other day I told a terrific mom, "It's not all about you, y'know." Her child was screaming about something, and as parents often do, she was sort of taking responsibility for his behavior. She was talking to me about her worries that somehow, it was her "fault" that he screams when he's frustrated.

"It's not all about you." Me and my big mouth: that doesn't sound very professional. But thank goodness, this mom knows me really well and I think she understands the respect that's behind the sarcasm. But let me explain.

What I mean is: Kids are themselves. Period.

Parents are very, very important in helping kids to grow up happy and healthy. Good, earnest parenting is essential, and terribly hard to do. If kids have inadequate nurturing, they usually don't grow up to be happy with themselves, and often find many ways to make other people miserable as well. Parents have many vital roles in the development of children, starting with helping them develop a healthy sense of self, and learn the beginnings of self-regulation. Children NEED loving adults to steer them in the direction of productive lives and fulfilling relationships.

Explorer's 2's Sand Kitchen, where conversations like this often take place.

However, as parents, our magical powers are limited. Every child comes into the world as himself or herself. We can't change that underlying personhood, and shouldn't even try. The developmental theorists call this individuality "temperament" and it's been studied extensively. One set of research identifies nine distinct temperament traits that all people have in some degree, and they state that your temperament is the degree to which you possess each of the nine traits. The research shows that our temperament is inborn, and stays with us through our entire life. The person we are as toddler is still the person we will be when we're ninety years old, even if we have learned to hide or suppress it in many ways. Our temperament traits are neither good nor bad, neither positive nor negative. We are who we are, and our temperament is what makes each person unique.

Adults play a vital role in helping kids discover who they are, and learn about their own unique selves. We can often help children learn ways to "smooth the rough edges" of some of their more extreme traits. Parents can help children learn to cope with life, to appreciate themselves for who they are, and to use all their temperament traits in positive ways. A wonderful by-product of all this, is that children can then learn to appreciate the uniqueness in other people.

What adults cannot do is make an intense child into a mild one. Or an active child into a mellow one. Or a persistent child into a compliant one. What we can do is help our kids learn to thrive in spite of frustrations, and gradually learn how to meet their own emotional needs, as well as get along with other people.

In an ideal world, parents, teachers, and all adults who have contact with kids, are patient and ready to help in all situations. But in the un-ideal world in which we live, adults are just as tired, cranky, moody, and irritable as kids, and sometimes even more so. (Of course we are: and who do you think made us that way??) Living with kids can be exhausting, even though we love them dearly. So we CAN'T always do or say the right thing, and thank goodness, we don't have to be perfect. But sometimes we are able to calmly reflect back to children the "self" they are showing us at any moment through their behavior, instead of simply reacting with annoyance to the behavior. This reflecting helps our kids learn how to "be." Even though we can't do it all the time, due to the fact that we are grumpy or tired, the times we are able to do that are Golden Parenting Moments, and have a huge impact. When we're accepting, non-judgmental, and when we observe and listen, we are helping our kids become their best selves.

Your children will fuss, whine, hit, shriek, and cry. It's not your fault. They're not behaving that way because you did anything wrong. And by the way, you don't deserve all the credit for those moments when they are behaving beautifully and make you proud. Well, ok, you can pat yourself on the back a little, but the truth is that the child is the one responsible for his or her behavior. Some children happen to feel compelled to do more of the negative things than others, especially in the toddler years, and this is usually due to their inborn temperament. No biggie. Gradually they will outgrow most of these behaviors and learn better ways of coping, as they gain experiences with other people and with their own emotions. Your guidance and example will help. But you can't give them short-cuts through the learning process.

"It's not all about you." Jeeeezz.... I gotta be careful how I talk to parents. I'd hate to jeopardize my high-status gig as a preschool teacher! But sometimes I pack a lot of meaning into just a few words, and those words don't come out the way I intend. Thank goodness I have parents in my classes who give me the benefit of the doubt, and let me get away with it. But then, it's not all about me, is it?

Failing to Succeed: What preschool parents can do to counteract the pressures of America's achievement culture

2010-10-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

By Lisa McLeod, MW2s

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My 2-year-old daughter loves going to school. She usually still makes it hard for me to get her dressed and out the door, but by the time I’ve got her in the car she is often talking excitedly about school, about how she gets to paint and pet the bunny and drive the bike. Her enthusiasm for school and learning is heartwarming and joyous, but every time I see it, I can’t help but wonder how it will be possible to keep that love for school from fading as she enters elementary, middle and high school.

Recently my husband and I attended a screening of the documentary film Race to Nowhere about the immense pressure that children, parents and teachers face in our achievement obsessed culture and school system. The film’s director Vicki Abeles was inspired to make the movie after her daughter was diagnosed with an illness induced from the stress of struggling with the pressures of school, homework, and extracurricular activities in her effort to do it all. But even after the director made changes in her own home and the way that she parented, she soon came to see that the problems she and her children faced were more systemic and widespread. Speaking with other parents, teachers, students and experts in various fields, she decided that the best way to help other struggling families was to make a film highlighting the need for change in the way that we view the purpose of schooling and achievement in America.

With the adoption of No Child Left Behind, the obsession with high stakes testing and increasing student achievement has pushed academic pressure down even into kindergarten and preschools. Teachers get pressure from administrators to “cover” all the material before the tests in April so that students will at least have been “exposed” to the material and have a better chance of guessing the right answer on the multiple choice tests. In an effort to cover all the curriculum standards, teachers send home packets of homework that they may or may not have had much opportunity to cover in class. Parents then feel pressure to make sure their children do all of their homework and master all of the material, but the end result of this system is that American schools are more concerned with broad coverage of material than about deep learning and thought. Students are taught to jump through hoops and pass tests, but once those tests are over, how much is truly retained? According to the students in the film, not much.

My husband and I are both high school teachers (though I am currently on leave), and we have had lots of first hand experience with burnt out students. We have both taught students on opposite ends of the spectrum of the achievement culture, from the honors students who have melt downs when they get anything less than an A to students who have straight Fs and long ago decided that school was a place of failure and boredom. It is a frustrating environment for teachers and students alike, and as a parent, I dread the idea of seeing my own child go from being a curious and eager learner to someone who just jumps through the hoops or gives up all together.

Of course that doesn’t have to happen. It is possible for children to retain their love of learning, their natural curiosity about the world, and their enthusiasm for mastering new skills, but it requires parents to be able to think deeply about what they value in their children.

All parents want what is best for their children, but how we define “best” determines what we provide for our children and what we expect from them. Too often in our achievement focused culture, we put pressure, consciously and unconsciously, on our children to be the “best” at school, sports, community service, and more in hopes that they will get accepted to the “best” schools and go on to get the “best” jobs. But is that what is “best” for our children? Is the purpose of school to learn and understand or is it just to build a resume that will obtain admission into an Ivy League university? We want our children to be successful in life, but what does that mean? What does success look like to us, and more importantly, how will we teach our children to define success? How do our preconceived notions of success affect the messages that we transmit to our children about their worth as human beings?

We need to rethink how we view the goals of school and education and what really helps children to achieve those goals. Does learning how to memorize and regurgitate loads of facts help children to become successful adults? If being successful is defined as getting a perfect score on the SAT, then maybe. But if being successful is defined as being a confident, competent, contributing member of society, then the purpose of school and education should be to teach children how to fail without becoming failures, how to fall down and get back up and try again, to experiment and take risks and learn from their mistakes. The purpose of school should not be to teach finite facts and skills that can be easily tested with multiple choice tests, but to teach students how to learn, create, and be resilient in the face of difficulty.

It's our hope that by sending our children to Explorer, this is the kind of education that we are giving our children. The school’s philosophy of child-directed learning helps children gain confidence in their own abilities and ideas, laying the foundation of self-confidence and resilience that will help them to maintain their desire to learn and discover well into their high school years and beyond. Rather than learning to read flash cards or mimic the directions given to them by adults, children at Explorer are encouraged to try things for themselves and see what happens, to “give it a go” and not get discouraged if something doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.

Because Explorer is a parent-participation school, we parents are also getting an education. We are learning how to put down the flash cards, put away the Brainy Baby videos and let our children take the lead, how to encourage our children’s learning without killing their internal motivation, and how to turn off (or at least ignore) our own internal voice that says, “how come so and so’s child can recognize her name and my child can’t even recognize a letter?” Because though we may think to ourselves, “I’ll never be the parent that pushes their children too hard,” it starts in small and insidious ways, with comparisons on the playground and the small nagging doubts about our children’s abilities. The parent who “helps” his child do her homework by taking over and doing it for her, may have started out by “helping” his preschool child make a snowman the “right” way.

Fortunately at Explorer, we parents are taught to take our hands off of the children’s activities, to not make examples for them to follow, and to learn and grow with grace when we forget and the teachers have to remind us to let the children take the lead. Through play and free choice, the children at Explorer learn how to feel confident in their unique creations, how to see value in their differences, how to keep trying to build something even when the blocks keep falling down, and how to fall off a bike and get back on. And we parents learn how to let them.

Though the film Race to Nowhere focused on children in the K-12 environment, our attitudes and beliefs are shaping the way our children will view school and learning well before they enter Kindergarten. When we learn to stand back and let the children direct their own learning we communicate to them that they are competent people who can make valuable contributions just as they are, without adults “fixing” their work, that it is OK to try and to fail, and that failure only really happens when you quit trying. And that, rather than getting a perfect score on the SAT, is truly the “best” tool possible for building successful, fulfilling lives in which their love of learning will not be dimmed, despite the best efforts of the American educational system.

Lisa Mcleod is a high school english and library media teacher with masters degrees in education and library science. She and her husband, Ted, are expecting their second child in March.

David Shannon is Coming to Hicklebees!

2010-10-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

Author/illustrator David Shannon will be at Hicklebees
Wednesday, October 13 at 3:00 pm

Anyone who's been through MW2s is probably familiar with David Shannon's No David!. Teacher Annie says, "I love No David, as my 2s are beginning to develop a real sense of humor mid-year and beyond. And no, contrary to popular parent-belief, this book does NOT give kids ideas. They already know about all that bad behavior. It comes naturally."

It's one of my boys' favorite books along with How I Became a Pirate and Pirates Don't Change Diapers. I recently also picked up It's Christmas, David! and he's up to his old antics--peeking, snitching and running naked in the snow!

Hicklebees is located at:
1378 Lincoln Ave. San Jose, CA 95125
(408) 292-8880

Those Darn Trains

2010-10-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

by Kim Kooyers, MW2s

My 2-year-old JB loves trains. I mean he LOVES trains. At home he carries around his “train magazine,” an issue of VIA (put out by AAA) with a feature on train travel. He sleeps with photos from his visit last spring to Niles Canyon railway, his favorite book is Freight Train, and he prefers to hold it on the steam engine page and narrate himself than to have it read to him. And, we have a train table at home, where he only has to share with his brother.

So, you can imagine JB at the train table at school. He tells other kids how to play: “Trucks go on ROAD!”“You go on THIS track!” He gets frustrated: the magnets repel each other, he gets the train to the top of the hill and before he can get around to the other side of the table, it falls backward; or, he reaches the end of the track and the trains fall off. The result is screaming, crying, and even the tossing of a train or two.

Last week, I walked into the classroom and JB was standing by the train table crying. My gut reaction was to walk up, comfort him and ask what’s wrong, and do what I can to make it better. But before I did, Teacher Annie let me know that Jack needed to cry right then. After a few minutes, he stopped and started to play again, proceeding to do what he was working on before.

What he needed right then was to work through his frustration, not for me to swoop in and fix it, which is what I do a lot at home. Not because I think that’s the right way to parent, but because it’s my first instinct: I’m tired, I’m overwhelmed, and I just want the screaming to stop. But as Teacher Annie said, it’s possible JB sees the trains as a safe and familiar place to express himself. And, if we can help him discover how capable he really is on his own, then there will be less screaming in the long run.

One of my other concerns is how JB dominates the train table. Annie’s response is that the other kids can either stand up to him or find something else to do. And when she told me this, I felt relieved. I don’t have take responsibility for everything interaction he has. And, more importantly, it’s okay for him to be who he is.

THIS is why we're at Explorer. To be in this safe environment of exploration—not just for little hands and feet, but also for emotions (I almost said little, but JB's emotions are not so little). To have the opportunity to see interactions modeled in the moment. To give me tools, ideas, and a sense of community. And I end up feeling like I’m not alone in this crazy world of parenting. My kid is okay. Maybe I'm even an okay parent.

Do you have an Explorer experience to share? We're looking for parent contributions to our blog! Email blog@explorerpreschool.org.

Kim Kooyers is mom to JB, 2.5 and Ry, 5. She also blogs at gratitude365 and SpiroChicks.

Be-an-Animal-Day 2010

2010-10-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

This post first ran on Annie Castle-Deckert's blog, Exploring With Teacher Annie

October is here. Time to think of Fall, and all the special celebrations that are coming up soon. I’m strongly suggesting to my 1’s and 2’s parents that for “costume day” this year, right before Halloween, we make it Animal Day. Everyone dresses up as an animal!

Costume Day isn’t a big deal for toddlers, because really, when you’re 1 or 2, every day that you put on clothes is sort of a "costume day" already. But sometimes Costume Day can be a big deal to parents, who remember the fun and excitement of Halloween costumes when they were children, and who want to participate in this tradition with their own kids. These little ones may or may not want to wear something other than their regular school clothes, but they enjoy seeing some of the other children, the teacher, and the parents playing dress-up!

So why is Teacher Annie messing with all this fun and suggesting that we only dress as animals on Costume Day? I have several reasons.

Why I Want Your Child To Dress As An Animal On Costume Day At School:

-It’s more creative, and therefore, more fun! One of the main things I’m trying to help your child avoid is dressing up as a character from tv or movies. These characters are very popular, but this type of costumes allows for no creativity. A child pretending to be a spider (and wearing a spider costume) has innumerable ways they can play and pretend. Their imagination can soar and they can stretch their minds in new ways. But a child wearing a Spiderman costume has very little pretending to do. They are limited to the script that comes from the movie/tv show/video game. They know from watching the show what Spidey does and what he does not do. Children seldom branch out from the scripts that the media gives them, when it comes to role-playing and pretending about media-based characters. I was talking to a parent in one of the older classes the other day, and she had been assigned to help the children “write” (dictate) stories. She said that the main stories children were telling her were about the Disney Princesses, Dora, and other well-known characters from movies and tv. The stories all followed the script of the shows, and the characters did not deviate from the role that the Disney (or other) creators had assigned them. So children were not engaging in creative thinking at all, but rather just repeating and reciting stories they had seen on tv. Remember what we all read last year in Taking Back Childhood? (Talk to me if you are new to our school or want to know more about this very insightful book.)

-Children love animals! They identify very strongly with them. It’s easy for young children to imagine themselves as a horse, a cat, or a bluebird. In interactions with real or pretend animals, children learn empathy and social skills.

-Language development! Animal play lends itself well to language development. As children talk about, learn about, and pretend about animals, they are first very inclined to make the sounds that animals make, and then they move on from there to learning about other aspects of language.

-Literacy! Animals offer many opportunities for literacy development as well. There are millions of excellent books about animals, both fiction and non-fiction.

-Science! Pretending about animals leads to a curiosity about science and the natural world. Once you’ve dressed up as a ladybug, you want to find out more about what it’s really like to be one.

-Lots of options! There are thousands of animals to choose from! And even if your child isn’t the only dog on Costume Day, every dog will be different.

-Parent-Friendly! Animal costumes can be very simple or very elaborate, allowing for the parent to choose how much time, money, and creativity they wish to put into it. You can be a rabbit with some paper ears and a cotton ball for a tail. Or you can go all out and order the $50 peacock costume online. Neither one of these is better, cuter, or more desirable than the other. And your child will quite likely have more fun in the cheap-bunny costume than in the expensive one.

-Happy, not scary! Traditional Halloween characters can be scary for toddlers. They can be scared of witches, skeletons, and ghosts, because at this age they still don’t have a very solid idea of where to draw the line between pretend and real. It’s ridiculous to think about having a day that is supposed to be for the kids to have fun, but instead, making them frightened.

So, help me create Costume Day at school this year, and walk, talk, and dress like a duck or any other animal. We’ll all have a wonderful, child-centered day.

I stole this great idea from Teacher Jackie, who borrowed it from some other teacher. Hmmmm...... I wonder what animal Jackie will be?

My daughters no longer let me “dress them up,” but unless my dogs, Gretchen and Timothy, protest too loudly we will be enjoying Animal Day at my house this year, for sure!

Annie Castle-Deckert teachers MW2s, Fri2s, and Together Time at Explorer, where she has been on staff since 1995.