tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47364094896344715182024-02-07T16:53:27.754-08:00Explorer BlogAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04257470647870235631noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-55888385377991458982017-10-15T12:35:00.000-07:002017-10-15T12:44:59.966-07:00Hellyer Park Field Trip (10/11/17)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tO0Km73Nxf0/WeOtyF90JAI/AAAAAAAAAGI/Hnbfx3dsoZE7ROr2t1l7PYWNzX6LvHZpgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_4202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tO0Km73Nxf0/WeOtyF90JAI/AAAAAAAAAGI/Hnbfx3dsoZE7ROr2t1l7PYWNzX6LvHZpgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_4202.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Last Wednesday the M/W/F morning class went on a wonderful field trip to <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=hellyer+park+san+jose&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjm1pz6o_PWAhUIs1QKHWrqD18QsAQIVQ&safe=active&ssui=on">Hellyer Park</a>, about a 15min driving distance from the school. This was a chance for our children to get a taste of what the 4day program at this school offers.<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7QzUaJwv4AY/WeOxqpaQF1I/AAAAAAAAAGY/XpvLBonH5wAcvcNDdHep7FycotiZGBh8QCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_4204.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7QzUaJwv4AY/WeOxqpaQF1I/AAAAAAAAAGY/XpvLBonH5wAcvcNDdHep7FycotiZGBh8QCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_4204.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
In the quiet and peaceful morning atmosphere students participated in story-time circles, art projects, and other learning/play activities.<br />
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After having time for centers and snack we went on a hike around the lake, stopping often for Teacher Jackie's explanations of the nature, or to play games.<br />
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The birds were particularly amazing! Geese, duck, swans, cranes, egrets, and a plethora of others. They were quite unafraid of people, so the kids could get very near and friendly with them. <br />
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Finally, there was an <a href="https://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&sa=1&q=new+hellyer+park+san+jose+playground&oq=new+hellyer+park+san+jose+playground&gs_l=psy-ab.3...12644.13566.0.13878.4.4.0.0.0.0.92.254.3.3.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..1.0.0....0.ky4H9Bede_o&safe=active&ssui=on">amazing playground area</a> there, and many families stayed until close to 2:00! Usually the fee is $6 to park there, but I'll certainly be going back as several hours well spent.<br />
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<i>by Dave Pretre (MWF)</i><br />
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<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-39384068134366274612016-01-13T11:41:00.002-08:002016-01-13T11:49:07.768-08:00Considering Adult Development<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; white-space: pre-wrap;">A little understanding of your own development may provide insights that can assist you with the challenges of parenting or managing other life experiences.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 700; white-space: pre-wrap;">Parenthood makes you smarter!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even though we often feel behind the learning curve when it comes to parenting or understanding our children, adulthood is a time of growing abilities and expertise. In young adulthood, maturity provides for gains in focus and goal-directed behavior. In professional and home life, adults gain abilities in problem-solving, adaptability and creativity. Life experiences make some thinking more automatic or intuitive which leaves room for responding to and seeking new challenges. In addition, the accumulation of experience and knowledge can help balance out or buffer declines in other areas. So, acknowledge and embrace your growing competencies. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 700; white-space: pre-wrap;">Children are distracting but adults can be easily distracted.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As we age, we have declining abilities in staying focused on one task, paying attention to the most relevant information, switching attention between tasks and attending to more than one thing at a time. So, multitasking becomes more of a challenge and distractions slip in. You may find yourself thinking aloud, getting frustrated when trying to listen to or do more than one thing at a time or notice a greater level of distraction by or difficulty disengaging from electronic devices. Interruptions in attention can be induced by normal changes in development. As if these changes were not enough, it is also natural for declines in eyesight (near & far) and hearing as we age. So, being distracted is not always the children’s fault.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 700; white-space: pre-wrap;">It can be harder to go off-road when you are heading down a well-paved path.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">While expertise is a benefit, it can also be a liability. It can take special effort to see the world from our children’s perspective because our ways of thinking have become more ingrained or rigid. As we age, our accumulated experiences provide wisdom and intelligence, yet they can also reduce flexibility in thinking. Not recognizing how we have changed in our thinking can also lead us to believe that children or teenagers today are not like we were. In many cases, it is not a change in generations, it is that we don’t remember how are thinking used to be. We have to step back and see the world from the child’s continuum of knowledge or understanding.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 700; white-space: pre-wrap;">Adults can suffer from disequilibrium too.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Adults continue to grow and follow a developmental path. We have our own cycles of equilibrium/disequilibrium which may be triggered by life events as well as development. Our children may be doing just fine and the challenges of coping, feeling out of sorts, not feeling capable or in sync resides within us and our own life cadence. As we age, we find greater satisfaction in intrinsic rewards and meaningful endeavors. This is supported by parenting or caring for family members but success or accomplishment of a task well-done is less distinct or obvious. Our cycles may not follow clear ages/stages as they once did and our joy may be gained from less tangible experiences.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 700; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everyone needs sleep! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In addition to shifts in focus & attention, disruptions in sleep can occur due to aging. Sleep deprivation or disruptions make all types of thinking more difficult. Lack of sleep can impede focus, slow speed of processing and reflexes as well as increase irritability and feelings of hunger. These effects can impact your parenting, relationships, appropriate expression of feelings, as well as management of daily tasks or broader life complications. Also, learning will be remembered and become part of your mental pathways only if you get some rest. You really do need to ‘sleep on it’.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 700; white-space: pre-wrap;">Adults Benefit from Routines too.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Routines reduce the need to make decisions and provide the mind and body with a natural rhythm. Notice effects of poor nutrition or influences of caffeine. Limit caffeine in amount and lateness. Practices that promote sleep for children also work for adults. Provide a routine for yourself that includes winding down and limits screen time before bed. Screen time can interrupt circadian rhythms. Get fresh air and exercise, plan ahead, make lists, set out things for the morning, so that you can rest easy with a clearer mind.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 700; white-space: pre-wrap;">Identify the source: Recognize the agency in your responses or reframe interpretations.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some parents offer tips or strategies that have worked for them because they hope they might alleviate some of your stress or provide examples of possible solutions. Others may seek validation for their own choices by encouraging you to follow their lead. In the end, you need to make choices that provide developmentally-appropriate care and guidance for you and your family. You can adjust expectations, interpretations, and frame interactions to reduce frustration, anger or pressure to do-be-sign-up-for more. Look at a stress and its source, with a new lens. Maybe something just is not a good-fit. Maybe an action was unintentional or a person has unseen reasons for their choices that are not relevant to you. In any case, you can reduce strain by identifying the source and determining what you need or what is most important to you. You may not be able to control events but you can control your responses or reactions to it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; white-space: pre-wrap;">By acknowledging and/or attending to your own developmental needs and progress, you can provide yourself with some well-deserved understanding and some wiggle room for being at your best.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Andalus; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">Considering Adult Development, Paula Oakes, M.A. Child & Adolescent Development, </span><a href="mailto:Paulaandplay@gmail.com" style="font-family: -webkit-standard; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; white-space: normal;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Andalus; font-size: 12px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Paulaandplay@gmail.com</span></a></span></div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-63640112195284833342015-12-15T10:48:00.003-08:002015-12-15T10:48:21.185-08:00Old Goodies<div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
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Well, the Holiday season is rolling in, and this brings to mind the fabulous "Auld Lang Syne", which reminds us not to forget old acquaintances, and if you are me, old books either.<br /></div>
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Here are a couple of very old goodies that if you haven't read, you really should. <a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb3966418?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Wee Gillis</a> by Munro Leaf is a gem from 1938. This story is about Wee Gillis, who can't decide which of his clans he should live with, as his mother and father come from different people. This is great for 4+, but if you can make the Scottish accents, you will fascinate your children even earlier than that. As an aside, Munro Leaf also did <a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb5037700?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">The Story of Ferdinand</a>, the bull who likes flowers. <br /></div>
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<a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb2130880?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel</a>, by Virginia Lee Burton is great for the younger set that are obsessed with construction sites, but for this story to really shine, 4+ makes it ring clear. Mike Mulligan and Maryann are rendered obsolete by fancier and newer models, but using heart and hard work, they show that they still have a place in the world.</div>
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<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fire-Cat-Can-Read-Level/dp/0064440389/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449719092&sr=8-1&keywords=the+fire+cat" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><br /></a></div>
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fire-Cat-Can-Read-Level/dp/0064440389/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449719092&sr=8-1&keywords=the+fire+cat" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">The Fire Cat</a> by Esther Averill follows the story of Pickles the Fire Cat, who goes from being a menace to kittens and cats everywhere to becoming a fire cat, and a hero. This has a great underlying message of how great things can still happen to those who have a rough start. 3+<br /><a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb2362281?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><br /></a></div>
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<a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb2362281?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">A Fish out of Water</a> by Helen Palmer should be billed as a child's first monster story. A boy gets a fish and is warned not to feed it too much. Naturally he does, and the fish won't stop growing. When it finally exceeds the size of a swimming pool, he has to finally admit his misdeeds to have the situation fixed. Absolutely captivating, and a great favorite of my girls from 18 months and up.</div>
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<a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb2367702?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Harry the Dirty Dog </a>by Gene Zion is a classic that is so fun! Harry doesn't want to get a bath. He goes rogue, and gets as dirty as he can, but will his family be able to recognize him again? There is so much to look at in this book that while the plot doesn't really pull together for little kids until 2, I started my girls on this one earlier than that.<br /></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Kaye, 4 day mom</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-53335225714559339602015-11-03T13:51:00.000-08:002015-11-03T13:51:35.230-08:00Brave Hearts<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
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Now that we are nearly past the excitement of Halloween, and headed towards the more comforting lull of fall, let's help all of our kids to dream big, and little. Encourage heroism in your kids through fantastical brave deeds and everyday heroics with these books: </div>
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<a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb3370378?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Timothy and the Strong Pajamas: a superhero adventure </a>by Viviane Schwarz. I can't even begin to say how much I love this book, and my children love it too. Timothy and his sock monkey save their corner of the world when Timothy's mother patches his pajamas so well that it gives him super powers. Of course, even a hero needs help sometimes. Perfect for ages 3 and up. </div>
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<a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb4453019?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Part-Time Princess </a>by Deborah Underwood. Ordinary girl by day, extraordinary princess by night, this royal can fight fires and organize balls. This is a new and refreshing take on princess culture which may save you the more anemic and pervasive perception of fairy tale nobility. Ages 3 and up.</div>
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<a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb4958697?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Shake to Assemble</a> by Calliope Glass. This is an interactive story about pulling the Avengers together to fight crime. It has virtually no conflict of any kind, and kids are amused by doing the actions (tap Bruce Banner to make him turn into the Hulk!). Ages 2 and up. </div>
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<a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb2794827?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Scaredy Squirrel</a> by Melanie Watt. Scaredy Squirrel is scared of virtually everything, but with good planning, he can distract himself from his distress. This is good for the worrier in your family. Ages 4 and up. A younger child could read it, but may not find it very funny, although you will.<br />
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<a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb1884282?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Wemberly Worried</a> by Kevin Henkes. All of Henkes' books are a treat (yes, really!) but this one is great for your young one who is having school anxiety. Ages 3 and up. </div>
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<a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb3800297?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Llama Llama Misses Mama</a> and <a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb2625879?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Llama Llama Red Pajama</a> by Anna Dewdney. With a pleasing rhyming structure and bold, large, and colorful illustrations, both of these Llama Llama titles address the fears of young children. I read these to my girls probably from 1-3 years old. The first tackle separation anxiety in the school setting, and the second, bedtime fears. These newish titles are already a solid classic among the toddler set. </div>
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Kaye, 4 day mom</div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-56557675290539990062015-10-13T22:07:00.001-07:002015-10-13T22:19:40.185-07:00Happy Autumn<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
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Happy Autumn, everyone! As a librarian, I read a lot of books, which means my two young children are also exposed to a lot of books too. The books that I am going to recommend to you have been tested by my kids in our readings, and perhaps I've even used them for a library story time. In these posts, I will link the books to the <a href="https://www.sjpl.org/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">San Jose Public Library</a> catalog when available, and if not, to Amazon.<br />
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1. <a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb2166098?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">The Seasons of Arnold's Apple Tree</a> by Gail Gibbons. This is a simple story that goes through the seasons of the year, using Arnold's special tree as a focal point. My four year olds are wild about this simple book. </div>
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2. <a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb4169815?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Little Goblins Ten</a> by Pamela Jane is a sweetly illustrated Halloween themed book that uses monsters and smiling ghouls getting ready for Halloween night. It is designed to be sung to the tune of "Over in the Meadow". Two and three year olds love this one. A note on singing to your kids, even if you are shy to do so: they love it. They think your voice is beautiful. Commit, and find the pitch that works for you.<br />
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3. <a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb2259329?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Big Pumpkin</a> by Erica Silverman is a Halloween classic. It follows the same story line as the folktale, The Enormous Turnip, except the witch pulls a pumpkin and needs help from a vampire, a mummy, and other monsters that love pumpkin pie. This works for littles, and bigger kids who will enjoy the repetition.</div>
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4. <a href="http://discover.sjlibrary.org/iii/encore_sjpl/record/C__Rb3851147?lang=eng" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">And Then Comes Halloween</a> by Tom Brenner does address Halloween, but more than that, it shows all the very best parts of Fall rolling in, but of course, in a more dramatic, non-California way. </div>
Happy reading!<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Kaye - 4 day mom</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-25703540761411355232014-05-27T21:54:00.002-07:002014-05-27T21:54:56.523-07:00Sharing Healthy Recipes<br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Sharing Healthy Recipes: Lacto-fermentation & getting good probiotics into your body</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">by Kate Skogen </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Lacto-fermentation!? What? Fermenting veggies is something I learned how to do this year and I couldn’t be more excited! It’s easily my favorite way to spend 20 minutes in the kitchen. And if you know me, I do not enjoy cooking. But I know that one of the best things I can do is eat well and feed my family well. Fermented foods is the next step beyond yogurt and your daily probiotic supplement. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“It may seem strange to us that, in earlier times, people knew how to preserve vegetables for long periods without the use of freezers or canning machines. This was done through the process of lacto-fermentation. Lactic acid is a natural preservative that inhibits putrefying bacteria” -Weston A. Price Foundation,<a href="http://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/lacto-fermentation/">http://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/lacto-fermentation/</a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Fermented foods are one of the greatest ways to obtain probiotics, alkalize your body, digest your foods, increase your B vitamins, and destroy bad bacteria, viruses, and yeast. Fermented foods pack a powerful punch of live cultures that many people credit for improved gut health immunity, and skin health.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This summer I’m going to delve in sauerkraut, kimchi, and I’m going to ferment every summer veg I can. My favorite easy way to start is with carrots. You can’t mess this up. They’re so easy and yummy. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">GINGER CARROTS</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Fill quart jar with carrot sticks (no need to peel). Super fill the jar becau</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">se you don’t want the carrots floating to the top. Chop up some fresh ginger and place in jar (more like “shove” in jar. Add a 1 tsp of salt and ¼ cup cultured vegetable juice.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If this is your first time, don’t worry about adding cultured veggie juice, just add an addition teaspoon of salt.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Fill with water to cover. Leave 1 inch at top. Check the water and make sure it’s about as salty as the ocean. Add more salt if necessary.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Let sit room temp for at least 4-7 days. Check your sticks daily and when they’re yummy, stick them in the fridge. Technically, they’ll last for months in the fridge, but we eat ours in a week or so! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Garlic Carrot Pickle Variation: Omit ginger, replace with slices of garlic.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Here’s a great recipe for pickles, too… our other favorite: <a href="http://www.johnhicksmd.com/garlic-dill-pickles/">http://www.johnhicksmd.com/garlic-dill-pickles/</a></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Want more? Check out Sandor Katz’s Fresh Air interview:<a href="http://www.npr.org/2012/06/13/154914381/fermentation-when-food-goes-bad-but-stays-good">http://www.npr.org/2012/06/13/154914381/fermentation-when-food-goes-bad-but-stays-good</a></span></div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-20541197990511208192014-04-16T09:21:00.002-07:002014-04-16T09:21:50.551-07:00Painted Easter Eggs<br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Painted Easter Eggs<br /><br />Easter is right around the corner! The girls are getting excited and insisted that we do an Easter craft this week. So, we decided to paint some eggs . . . paper eggs. You will need paint in a variety of colors, white paint, Q-tips, paper plates or plain paper, scissors. We began by cutting out egg shapes from the paper plates. I made a template and used that to trace multiple eggs. Alexandra enjoyed tracing and cutting out the egg shapes too. Then, we put a variety of paints in an ice cube tray, adding some white paint to each mixture to make the colors pastel. The girls enjoyed mixing the paints to see the resulting pastel color. After they got their desired colors, they began to paint their eggs using the Q-tips. Alexandra experimented with polka dots, straight lines and squiggles. Margo enjoyed painting a Michigan-themed egg with yellow and blue, appealing to her dad's alma mater. Allow the eggs to dry. Beautiful. <br /><br />Kara Tuohy<br />MW2s and MWF</span></blockquote>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-32248810115703050652014-04-16T08:05:00.002-07:002014-04-16T08:05:25.746-07:00Rainbow<br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />On a family drive recently, we witnessed the most beautiful rainbow! The colors were vibrant and the arc of the rainbow was full. It was amazing! And, with St. Patrick's Day right around the corner, I knew we had to do a rainbow craft. You will need tissue paper in the rainbow colors, glue, water, a paintbrush, white construction paper, and a pencil. Begin by cutting the tissue paper into small pieces, no larger than an inch square. I placed each rainbow color in its own container for easy gluing. Mix glue with a splash of water, be careful not to use too much water as it will soak the paper. For my older daughter, Alexandra, I drew a rainbow with 7 arcs, one for each color of the rainbow. For my three year old, Margo, I drew one large arc. We talked about the colors of the rainbow: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Alexandra carefully painted the glue mixture on the outer arc and placed the red tissue paper on it. When she finished the whole arc, she painted the glue mixture on top of the tissue paper. Be careful because the tissue paper might bleed. Alexandra then continued with the next arc and filled it with orange tissue paper. She repeated the process with each color of the rainbow. Margo, on the other hand, placed her colors randomly around the large arc, being careful to paint the glue mixture on top of the tissue paper too. When finished, we let the rainbows dry. Then, we cut out our rainbows and taped them on our window. Who knows, maybe we will find leprechauns and a pot of gold on St. Patrick's Day?! <br /><br />Kara Tuohy<br />MW2s and MWF</span></blockquote>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-27660909687695298482014-03-10T00:03:00.000-07:002014-03-10T00:03:13.148-07:00Puppet Theater<br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /><img apple-height="yes" apple-inline="yes" apple-width="yes" height="1080" id="03F00E1E-B715-449E-987A-AD0B99EE61A2" name="photo.JPG" src="cid:641B3EE3-6C78-4A65-A6EA-69EA40F53B31@hsd1.ca.comcast.net." style="height: 401px !important; width: 300px !important;" width="807" /><br /><br />Puppet Theater<br /><br />Children love to play with puppets! Puppet play allows children to think creatively, stimulates the imagination and encourages story telling and retelling which are important literacy skills. We decided to create our own puppet theater to make playing with our puppets even more fun. You will need a tri-fold display board, a ruler, and a box cutter. We bought a red display board for our theater, but you could paint yours whatever color you want. I picked up some chalkboard paint too because I thought it might be fun to be able to write the title of the play on the board. Measure a 20 inch by 14 inch rectangle on the middle panel of the display board. Cut out with the box cutter. You could embellish the theater with curtains, if you like. But, I know nothing about sewing, so that was out if the question. Right away, the girls grabbed some puppets and began putting on a show. My older daughter, Alexandra, is interested in fairy tales so we found some fairy tale printables online, colored and cut them out. We then glued them on to craft sticks. She really enjoyed retelling her favorite fairy tales in the puppet theater, especially Goldilocks and the Three Bears. This activity was just-right! <br /><br />Kara Tuohy<br />MW2s and MWF</span></div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-67789940733089291222014-02-27T08:12:00.002-08:002014-02-27T08:12:23.561-08:00<br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /><img apple-height="yes" apple-width="yes" height="610" id="96e184e5-c9ba-4f26-aa89-d1ea04f28f77" name="photo.JPG" src="cid:A94376AA-6F52-4860-815C-2DE1C300D3FF@hsd1.ca.comcast.net." style="height: 224px !important; width: 300px !important;" width="815" /><br /><br />Nonstandard Measurement<br /><br />As we were enjoying a lovely morning drawing outside, the girls started tracing their feet. I thought this was a great opportunity to explore nonstandard units of measurement . . . the teacher in me embraces authentic educational opportunities! You will need construction paper, markers and scissors. We started by tracing our feet and cutting them out. We labeled the feet with our names and right away the girls were comparing the size of their feet. "My foot is bigger than yours," Alexandra remarked. We also labeled the left and the right foot. Of course, they wanted to trace their hands and cut them out too. We labeled those as well. Then, I asked the girls to find five items that were smaller than their feet and five items that were bigger than their feet. They had a great time wandering around the yard, exploring and testing objects. They each returned with ten items and showed me the five objects that were smaller than their feet and the five objects that were larger than their feet. They were both so proud of their findings! My older daughter, Alexandra, then wanted to measure how many "feet" our bench was in length. I asked her to estimate or make her best guess before she measured. She estimated 12 of Alexandra's feet. Then, she started lining up her feet and found that it measured 7 of Alexandra's feet and nearly 8 of Margo's feet! What a great way to make math fun! <br /><br />Kara Tuohy<br />MW2s and MWF</span></div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-54506477113440958322014-02-06T20:25:00.000-08:002014-02-06T20:25:33.730-08:00Olympic Ring Toss<br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Olympic Ring Toss<br /><br />We are getting in the spirit of the Olympics around here! And, this is the perfect activity when you are cooped up indoors due to the weather, as we were today. You will need six sturdy paper plates, a paper towel roll, red, yellow, green, blue and black paint, paintbrushes, scissors and tape. We began with a discussion of the Olympic Games. We brainstormed winter sports and I was surprised by how many winter sports the girls could name, especially given that we live in California. Cut out the middle of five paper plates. These will be your rings. Tape the paper towel roll on to the remaining paper plate. I cut small tabs in the bottom of the paper towel roll and used a fair amount of tape to keep it upright. Paint each ring in the Olympic colors using the red, yellow, green, blue and black paint. Paint the base however you would like. Alexandra painted the paper towel roll with blue paint and Margo painted the plate with black paint. Teamwork! Allow to dry. Set up the base on the floor and stand a few feet back. Toss the rings and have fun! USA chant is optional! <br /><br />Kara Tuohy<br />MW2s and MWF</span></div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-86950312170167531012014-01-23T10:09:00.002-08:002014-01-23T10:09:45.817-08:00Lunar New Year<br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Lunar New Year<br /><br />We are excited to go to a Lunar New Year party this weekend to celebrate the Chinese holiday with friends. In preparation for the party, we read a few books that celebrate the Chinese culture. The girls became fascinated with dragons, so we thought it would be fun to make a dragon craft. You will need an egg carton, paint (red, orange, yellow and black), paintbrush, googly eyes, red paper, glue and scissors. Begin by cutting the bottom half of the egg carton in half, lengthwise. This will be the dragon's body. Cut one cup off, to be used as the dragon's head. Paint the dragon's body and head, using the red, orange and yellow paint. My girls liked to mix all of the colors together. Paint the inside of the dragon's head black. Allow the paint to dry. When dry, attach the dragon's head to the body with glue. Add goggly eyes to the top of the dragon's head. Cut a dragon's tongue from the red paper and glue to the inside of the dragon's mouth. Gung Hey Fat Choy! <br /><br />Kara Tuohy<br />MW2s and MWF</span></blockquote>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-73729477844288826222014-01-20T08:05:00.001-08:002014-01-20T08:05:54.500-08:00A Good Reminder about Using Cell Phones around your Children<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">Blog Post</span><br />
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A Good Reminder about Cell Phone Use</div>
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Does anyone feel like they need to just put their cell phone down once and for all? Unfortunately, I feel this way sometimes. By chance, I just came upon this great article about cell phone use when with your kids. I thought that we could all use a reminder about this in the day and age of addictive cell phones.... miniature computers at our fingertips every second of the day. It's just too easy to access information with smart phones. I hope this article resonates with you all as much as it did with me.</div>
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Want to be a Better Parent? Hang Up the Phone</div>
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[ 28 ] <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" x-apple-data-detectors-type="calendar-event" x-apple-data-detectors="true">August 5</a>, (AD) 2013<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> | Brandon Vogt</div>
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About once a week, my wife and I take our kids to a local indoor playground. The scene is pretty consistent: dozens of kids running around, screaming chaotically, in a place indistinguishable from an orangutan exhibit during the apocalypse.</div>
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But something else strikes me each time we go. After setting our kids loose, I glance around at the other parents and almost to a person, each one sits in the same position. They lean forward with their head bent down, eyes glued to a small screen, fingers tapping quickly as if they were playing a miniature piano.</div>
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Despite the fact that the most wondrous creatures in the world are zig-zagging and tumbling mere feet away, their attention is locked onto their iPhones. In fact, one day I was sitting next to a mom who was playing Space Invaders on her phone for half an hour. Her son came up to her several times, tugging on her forearm and begging for her to watch what can only be described as a mix between Irish dancing and karate, but she waved him off again and again.</div>
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Because she was too busy. Too busy with Space Invaders.</div>
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Now I’ll admit that I’ve done the same thing many times. I’ve ignored my kids in favor of cell phones and computers. In fact, I remember one day I was so absorbed in writing an email, that I didn’t even notice my son who kept pulling on my forearm, begging me to play. Whether we’re talking about television, Facebook, Twitter, blogs, or text messaging, I’ve chosen all of it over my kids at some point.</div>
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However in the past few months, I’ve tried to turn things around. I’ve learned an important key to being a good parent in today’s world:</div>
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Hang up!</div>
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This short but difficult command can be the hinge of quality parenthood. For example, picture yourself pulling in your driveway after a long day at work. There are two ways you to enter your house. One way is to open the door mired in a phone call, casually waving off the kids as they run to you. Another, however, is to walk in, fully present, ready to play and laugh and listen. If you choose the first way, you signal to your kids that a phone call is more important than them. If you choose the second way, you show, even without speaking, that nobody else matter more.</div>
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Now hanging up can be difficult. Sometimes there are calls you just have to take or emails that must be sent right away. But if you need a couple more minutes to finish a call, you might consider parking somewhere else for a few minutes to wrap it up. Sure, you may get home a couple of minutes later than planned, but you’ll be present to your kids from the moment you arrive.</div>
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Another way I make sure I’m off the phone is to not accept any phone calls on the drive home. If you pick up a call, you’ll likely continue it. On those rare occasions when I do answer, though, I politely wrap it up as I enter the neighborhood, saying, “Well, I’m just pulling up to the house and the kids are waiting outside…” If you’re talking to a family member or friend, they’ll get the hint.</div>
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No child ever says to his or her dad, “You spend way too much time with me! Why don’t you take a couple hours to fiddle with your iPhone or pop off some emails?” But many children grow up wishing their dad or mom had paid more attention to them.</div>
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So when you’re talking with your kids, turn off your phone. When it’s time for dinner, put your devices away. If you’re at the park, the playground, a restaurant, or church, choose to unplug.</div>
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<div>
Pocketing your phone and closing your computer are simple things to do, but they’re some of the most powerful ways to show your kids how much you truly care for them.</div>
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<div>
Originally posted at <a href="http://fathersforgood.org/" x-apple-data-detectors-result="1" x-apple-data-detectors-type="link" x-apple-data-detectors="true">fathersforgood.org</a></div>
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-9253662167049510102014-01-20T07:59:00.000-08:002014-01-23T10:10:42.934-08:00Activity of the Week from Children's Ed Committee<blockquote type="cite">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Lego Land</span></blockquote>
<blockquote type="cite">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />We are big into Legos at our house. Big! My girls like to build using Lego sets and then play with their creations. They rarely take them apart to build other things or rebuild. Consequently, our house is teeming with Lego creations. We thought it would be fun to build our very own Lego Land. You will need Legos, large paper and markers. We began by laying a large piece of paper on the floor. The girls had various buildings and houses, as well as vehicles. We noticed that they had beach vehicles and accessories, as well as mountain vehicles and accessories (from the Lego Advent Calendar). So, we drew a beach scene and a mountain scene on the large paper. The girls were having a hard time working together on one paper, so we decided to make two lands, Alexandra-land and Margo-land. They connected the lands with a Lego bridge. Problem solved! The girls enjoyed playing on their very own Lego Lands. They even added more details to their scenes as they played. Fun! <br /><br />Kara Tuohy<br />MW2s and MWF</span></blockquote>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-68711374424838088352013-04-27T17:53:00.000-07:002013-04-27T17:53:36.766-07:0010 Things to Stop Saying to Your Kids (and What to Say Instead)<a href="http://lifehacker.com/10-things-to-stop-saying-to-your-kids-and-what-to-say-474962146"></a><br />
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<a class="" data-id="" href="http://lifehacker.com/10-things-to-stop-saying-to-your-kids-and-what-to-say-474962146">10 Things to Stop Saying to Your Kids (and What to Say Instead)</a></h1>
</header><div class="first-text" data-textannotation-id="da186e0f3c106b3ad8737225ef2daf52">
Current
research shows that some of the most commonly used and seemingly
positive phrases we use with kids are actually quite destructive.
Despite our good intentions, these statements teach children to stop
trusting their internal guidance system, to become deceptive, to do as
little as possible, and to give up when things get hard.</div>
<div class="content-ad">
</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="809387389efcd2fa317de3e3c24ec62d">
<strong><em>This is a guest post by Shelley Phillips via <a href="http://www.lifehack.org/" target="_blank">Lifehack.org</a>. </em></strong></div>
<div data-textannotation-id="70848f93d15f6a5233781ccee4f632f0">
Here’s a
list of the top ten things to eliminate from your vocabulary now. I’ve
also included alternatives so that you can replace these habitual
statements with phrases that will actually encourage intrinsic
motivation and emotional connection.</div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="eeaa68b383a01faa7c3bb02db47473cf">
“Good job!”</h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="aa6f123e74f37f179d0dfb80bfacd529">
The biggest
problem with this statement is that it’s often said repeatedly and for
things a child hasn’t really put any effort into. This teaches children
that anything is a “good job” when mom and dad say so (and only when mom
and dad say so).</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="07e79bed98350ffb59ebb38b1c23ab06">
Instead try, <strong>“You really tried hard on that!”</strong>
By focusing on a child’s effort, we’re teaching her that the effort is
more important than the results. This teaches children to be <a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/parenting-6-myths-you-should-know-about.html" target="_blank">more persistent</a> when they’re attempting a difficult task and to see failure as just another step toward success.</div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="6ea1c428e27a96820c81ac7362720ae3">
“Good boy (or girl)!”</h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="d45455bb73c13bbe077603afbe59356a">
This
statement, while said with good intentions, actually has the opposite
effect you’re hoping for. Most parents say this as a way to boost a
child’s self-esteem. Unfortunately, it has quite a different effect.
When children hear “good girl!” after performing a task you’ve asked
them for, they assume that they’re only “good” because they’ve done what
you’ve asked. That sets up a scenario in which children can become
afraid of losing their status as a “good kid” and their motivation to
cooperate becomes all about receiving the positive feedback they’re
hoping for.</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="03c4a986de67bea0efdf23256ff6e07c">
Instead, try <strong>“I appreciate it so much when you cooperate!”</strong>
This gives children real information about what you’re wanting and how
their behavior impacts your experience. You can even take your feelings
out of it entirely and say something like, <strong>“I saw you share your toy with your friend.”</strong> This allows your child to decide for himself whether sharing is “good” and lets him choose to repeat the action from his <strong>internal motivation</strong>, rather than doing it just to please you.</div>
<div class="has-media media-640" data-textannotation-id="1ac98b683d8d83cbe4024889e3e2ad97">
<span class="img-border"><img class="transform-ku-xlarge" height="426" src="http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18kxdvdu5h9eajpg/ku-xlarge.jpg" width="640" /></span></div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="01ad8c64065269ecf824e8f023f43b6b">
“What a beautiful picture!”</h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="f4a816562224332ae7ec933b080df15b">
When we put
our evaluations and judgments onto a child’s artwork, it actually robs
them of the opportunity to judge and evaluate their own work.</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="d679d3e6c920e20a397fe91c9c349a31">
Instead try, <strong>“I see red, blue and yellow! Can you tell me about your picture?”</strong>
By making an observation, rather than offering an evaluation, you’re
allowing your child to decide if the picture is beautiful or not, maybe
she intended it to be a scary picture. And by asking her to tell you
about it, you’re inviting her to begin to evaluate her own work and
share her intent, skills that will serve her creativity as she matures
and grows into the artist she is.</div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="573e277e5c8b325739c07000a3fcc31c">
<strong>“</strong><strong>Stop it right now, or else!”</strong></h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="4e8be7db794e31ddb3ac4206f6ee9cf9">
<a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/how-to-stop-yelling-at-your-kids.html" target="_blank">Threatening</a>
a child is almost never a good idea. First of all, you’re teaching them
a skill you don’t really want them to have: the ability to use brute
force or superior cunning to get what they want, even when the other
person isn’t willing to cooperate. Secondly, you’re putting yourself in
an awkward position in which you either have to follow through on your
threats—exacting a punishment you threatened in the heat of your
anger—or you can back down, teaching your child that your threats are
meaningless. Either way, you’re not getting the result you want and
you’re damaging your connection with your child.</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="c615ff4635fa5794e227d1c3d03be32e">
While it
can be difficult to resist the urge to threaten, try sharing vulnerably
and redirecting to something more appropriate instead.<strong>“It’s NOT
OK to hit your brother. I’m worried that he will get hurt, or he’ll
retaliate and hurt you. If you’d like something to hit, you may hit a
pillow, the couch or the bed.” </strong>By offering an alternative that
is safer yet still allows the child to express her feelings you’re
validating her emotions even as you set a clear boundary for her
behavior. This will ultimately lead to better self-control and emotional
wellbeing for your child.</div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="e289194c61474baac952d0e353a24e79">
<strong>“</strong><strong>If you _____ then I’ll give you _____”</strong></h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="189367dec157496698d95392fa05619a">
Bribing
kids is equally destructive as it discourages them from cooperating
simply for the sake of ease and harmony. This kind of exchange can
become a slippery slope and if used frequently, you’re bound to have it
come back and bite you. “No! I won’t clean my room unless you buy me
Legos!”</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="38a03e1956365ee08a035109437e9a4d">
Instead try, <strong>“Thank you so much for helping me clean up!”</strong>
When we offer our genuine gratitude, children are intrinsically
motivated to continue to help. And if your child hasn’t been very
helpful lately, remind him of a time when he was. “Remember a few months
ago when you helped me take out the trash? That was such a big help.
Thanks!” Then allow your child to come to the conclusion that helping
out is fun and intrinsically rewarding.</div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="f9da342d86580fb245fdcac72b26a6b2">
"You’re so smart!"</h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="95776fab5df64b7a13bac46174acac02">
When we
tell kids they’re smart, we think we’re helping to boost their self
confidence and self-esteem. Unfortunately, giving this kind of character
praise actually does the opposite. By telling kids they’re smart, we
unintentionally send the message that they’re only smart when they get
the grade, accomplish the goal, or produce the ideal result — and that’s
a lot of pressure for a young person to live up to. Studies have shown
that when we tell kids they’re smart after they’ve completed a puzzle,
they’re less likely to attempt a more difficult puzzle after. That’s
because kids are worried that if they don’t do well, we’ll no longer
think they’re “smart.”</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="6efbb01c950dede000481ef069f85c9a">
<strong>Instead, try telling kids that you appreciate their</strong> <strong>effort</strong>.
By focusing on the effort, rather than the result, you’re letting a
child know what really counts. Sure, solving the puzzle is fun, but so
is attempting a puzzle that’s even more difficult. Those same studies
showed that when we focus on the effort — “Wow you really tried hard on
that!” — kids are far more likely to attempt a more challenging puzzle
the next time.</div>
<div class="has-media media-640" data-textannotation-id="5b27d402357d37625feba1a6e760a40e">
<span class="img-border"><img class="transform-ku-xlarge" height="503" src="http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18kxdwr5tg4kijpg/ku-xlarge.jpg" width="640" /></span></div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="c62211be825c93f1646b2461852e38f4">
"Don’t cry."</h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="0d70c96b322fe1e764d45bf43767298c">
Being with
your child’s tears isn’t always easy. But when we say things like,
“Don’t cry,” we’re invalidating their feelings and telling them that
their tears are unacceptable. This causes kids to learn to stuff their
emotions, which can ultimately lead to more explosive emotional
outbursts.</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="c94b4197bc86fa5657ffb0f684dc3770">
Try holding space for your child as he cries. Say things like, “<strong>It’s OK to cry.</strong>
Everyone needs to cry sometimes. I’ll be right here to listen to you.”
You might even try verbalizing the feelings your child might be having,
“You’re really disappointed that we can’t go to the park right now,
huh?” This can help your child understand his feelings and learn to
verbalize them sooner than he might otherwise. And by encouraging his
emotional expression, you’re helping him learn to regulate his emotions,
which is a crucial skill that will serve him throughout life.</div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="8e1f33216cf1883cdad956e49d2711f5">
"I promise..."</h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="c3d62442678d1f46dc4102c91826b420">
Broken
promises hurt. Big time. And since life is clearly unpredictable, I’d
recommend removing this phrase from your vocabulary entirely.</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="c3c38a3e2c7f1ef739393b5ba29d5dcd">
Choose instead to <strong>be super honest with your child</strong>.
“I know you really want to have a play date with Sarah this weekend and
we’ll do our best to make that happen. Please remember that sometimes
unexpected things come up, so I can’t guarantee that it will happen this
weekend.” Be sure you really are doing your best if you say you will
too. Keeping your word builds trust and breaking it deteriorates your
connection, so be careful what you say, and then live up to your word as
much as humanly possible.</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="208312532abf6beab0f13f2075ae1eeb">
One more
note on this, if you do break your word, acknowledge it and apologize to
your child. Remember, you’re teaching your kids how to behave when <em>they</em>
fail to live up to their word. Breaking our word is something we all do
at one time or another. And even if it’s over something that seems
trivial to you, it could matter a lot to your child. So do your best to <strong>be an example of honesty</strong>, and when you’re not, step up and take responsibility for your failure.</div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="7a2abff281f7a7d17d9683252190ea42">
"It’s no big deal!"</h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="be956b4b5ad313909324ee29bbb4cabc">
There are
so many ways we minimize and belittle kids feelings, so watch out for
this one. Children often value things that seem small and insignificant
to our adult point of view. So, try to see things from your child’s
point of view. <strong>Empathize with their feelings, even as you’re setting a boundary or saying no to their request.</strong></div>
<div data-textannotation-id="9a22744590c86399b1d636e5b749c6d0">
“I know you
really wanted to do that, but it’s not going to work out for today,” or
“I’m sorry you’re disappointed and the answer is no,” are far more
respectful than trying to convince your child that their desires don’t
really matter.</div>
<h3 data-textannotation-id="51ef23bf5a48118a424a0fe87c22c1f9">
"Why did you do that?"</h3>
<div data-textannotation-id="6db49e9a414c5334fe0b8ba56c954c26">
If your child has done something you don’t like, you certainly do need to have a conversation about it. However, the <a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/how-to-stop-yelling-at-your-kids.html" target="_blank">heat of the moment</a>
is not a time when your child can learn from her mistakes. And when you
ask a child, “Why?” you’re forcing her to think about and analyze her
behavior, which is a pretty advanced skill, even for adults. When
confronted with this question, many kids will shut down and get
defensive.</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="80377763b630123b8e6af1201552d5c2">
Instead, <strong>open the lines of communication</strong>
by guessing what your child might have been feeling and what her
underlying needs might be. “Were you feeling frustrated because your
friends weren’t listening to your idea?” By attempting to understand
what your child was feeling and needing, you might even discover that
your own upset about the incident diminishes. “Oh! He bit his friend
because he was needing space and feeling scared, and he didn’t know how
else to communicate that. He’s not a ‘terror,’ he’s a toddler!”</div>
<div data-textannotation-id="c7039473cc41f3771bbd99e84de1ba51">
<a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/5-things-to-stop-saying-to-your-kids-and-what-to-say-instead.html" target="_blank">5 Things To Stop Saying to Your Kids and What to Say Instead</a> | Lifehack</div>
<hr />
<div data-textannotation-id="26a75944deb370881abc5aef0ec1234c">
<em><small>Shelly
Birger Phillips is passionate about being the best human she can
possibly be and supporting others to do the same. She has helped
hundreds of clients overcome personal challenges and develop the skills
to live happier, more authentic lives. You can find her conscious
parenting blog <a href="http://www.awakeparent.com/blog" target="_blank">here</a>, and Her Authentic World team <a href="http://www.authenticworld.org/our-team/" target="_blank">here</a>: Follow her on Twitter <a href="http://www.twitter.com/awakeshelly" target="_blank">here</a> or email her at shelly at awakeparent.com.</small></em></div>
<div data-textannotation-id="ec569cc1eca1709ea34371ceaf50a38d">
<em><small>Images via <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-219580p1.html" target="_blank">Katsiaryna Pleshakova</a>, <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-192493p1.html" target="_blank">Ilike</a>, and <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-604900p1.html" target="_blank">Inara Prusakova</a> (Shutterstock). </small></em></div>
<small><em>Want to see your work on Lifehacker? Email <a href="mailto:tessa@lifehacker.com">Tessa</a>.</em></small>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-63515353244882199382013-02-16T08:30:00.000-08:002013-02-16T08:30:31.690-08:00<h1 class="post-title">
<a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/02/i-think-i-know-why-youre-yelling/" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to I Think I Know Why You’re Yelling">
I Think I Know Why You’re Yelling </a></h1>
<div class="post-info">
By Janet Lansbury</div>
<div class="post-info">
Posted by <a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/author/janet/" rel="author" title="Posts by janet">janet</a> on Feb 15th, 2013
</div>
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<a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/02/i-think-i-know-why-youre-yelling/" title="Permanent Link to I Think I Know Why You’re Yelling"><img alt="" src="http://www.janetlansbury.com/wp-content/themes/PureType/timthumb.php?src=http://www.janetlansbury.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/resized-sad-child-b-and-w-2.jpg&h=200&w=200&zc=1" style="border: none;" /></a>
</div>
<h6>
<span data-mce-mark="1" style="color: #76a0b0;">“I find that I
become one of two moms when my children are upset. I’m either Mary
Poppins — kind, loving, patient — or I’m completely intolerant and prone
to yelling and screaming.”</span><br />
<span data-mce-mark="1" style="color: #76a0b0;"> –Concerned Mom</span></h6>
If you’re yelling at your kids, you’re not alone. In fact, my own
empirical research suggests yelling has become something of a parenting
epidemic. Some are even calling it “the new spanking”. Why are so many
dedicated, intelligent, aware parents losing control?<br />
My sense is that parents often end up yelling because they’ve actually made the very<i> positive</i> decision to give their children<strong><a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/04/no-bad-kids-toddler-discipline-without-shame-9-guidelines/" target="_blank"> boundaries with respect</a></strong>
rather than punishments and manipulation. These parents are working
really hard to remain gentle and kind, and yet their children’s testing
behaviors continue. They become increasingly frustrated, even
fearful, feeling they’ve lost all control without any way to rein their
children in.<br />
And it’s no wonder! If I attempted to absorb all the vague,
contradictory advice I’ve seen and heard regarding discipline, I’d be
blowing a gasket on a regular basis myself. So many of these theoretical
ideas are seductively warm and fuzzy, but they come with a whole lot of
scary <i>don’ts</i> (“don’t punish, reward, control, give<strong><a href="http://notjustcute.com/2013/02/13/whatever-you-do-just-dont-call-it-time-out-right/" target="_blank"> time-outs</a></strong> or consequences, use the word ‘no’, expect obedience, be authoritative, etc”), and very little in the way of practical tools.<br />
If you’ve been yelling, here are some thoughts to consider:<br />
<b>1. You aren’t taking care of yourself</b><br />
A long soak in a warm tub, getting away with friends or your spouse
are always good ideas, but what I’d suggest is far more basic and
crucial: know your limits and personal needs, and establish boundaries
with your child from the beginning. Yes, even with your infant.<br />
For example, in the context of a respectful relationship (which means perceiving your infant as a<a href="http://www.regardingbaby.org/2011/09/18/the-way-we-see-them/" target="_blank"> </a><strong><a href="http://www.regardingbaby.org/2011/09/18/the-way-we-see-them/" target="_blank">whole person</a></strong>
and communicating with her as such), it is okay for your baby to cry
for a few minutes while you make your regular morning trip to the
bathroom to brush your teeth. You leave your baby in a safe, enclosed
place, tell her you will go and always acknowledge her feelings when you
return.<br />
Since you are respecting <strong><a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/09/empowering-our-babies-with-rituals/" target="_blank">your baby’s need for predictability</a></strong>,
you’ve made this activity a habitual part of your day together, and
your baby learns to anticipate that you will go and return. She still
may complain, which is her right, but you confidently let her know you
hear her and accept her expression of displeasure. “You didn’t want me
to go. That upset you. I’m back.”<br />
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
If you are a sensitive person who can’t
sleep deeply with your baby near you, but you’re co-sleeping because you
think you should, <i>you are not taking care of yourself</i>.</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
If you want to wean your child or limit your toddler’s nursing, but you feel guilty about that, <i>you are not taking care of yourself</i>.</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
If you need to go to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, but you’re afraid to leave your fussy baby or screeching toddler, <i>you are not taking care of yourself</i>.</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
In fact, if you feel guilty about any self-care moment, <i>you are probably</i> <i>not taking care of yourself.</i></div>
We all give up much of our lives for our children, but it is
unhealthy for us (and even less healthy for our kids) to become an
egoless parent, neglecting our needs and virtually erasing ourselves
from the relationship. We need personal boundaries, and our children
need us to model them. <strong>This</strong> is what it means to have an
honest, authentic, respectful relationship that will make limit-setting
in the toddler through teenage years clear and simple (notice I didn’t
say “easy” — because it’s hardly ever easy).<br />
<b><i>Parenting fact</i></b><b>: Our babies and toddlers will never give us permission to take care of our needs</b>.
“Go ahead and take a little break, mom, you deserve it!” will never be
said or implied through our young children’s behavior, even on Mother’s
Day. Quite the opposite, in fact. These boundaries must come from <i>us</i>, and our children will do <em>their</em>
job by objecting, rebelling, making demands and more demands, and
continuing to feel around for our limits until they are firmly and
consistently in place.<br />
<b>2. You have spent your baby’s first year distracting, appeasing or
otherwise manipulating her rather than speaking honestly about limits</b>.<br />
It disappoints me to hear some of the non-punitive discipline advocates I admire making statements like this one:<b> “</b>The
bad news is that babies often want everything they see. The good news
is that they’re generally distractible during the first year.”<br />
Your baby is a<a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/04/what-your-baby-cant-tell-you/" target="_blank"> <strong>whole person</strong></a> ready to engage actively and honestly in a relationship with you at birth. When you distract, you are practicing <i>avoidance –</i>
denying an honest connection in order to side-step your child’s healthy
feelings of resistance. The pattern this creates for both of you will
make it so much harder for you to feel comfortable setting respectful
limits later on. This formative first year is a crucial time to <b>set limits honestly</b>,
because this is when we will establish what will always be the core of
our parent/child relationship. (For more about setting limits honestly
with babies, please read <a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/06/5-reasons-toddlers-dont-need-redirection-and-what-to-do-instead/" target="_blank">5 Reasons Toddlers Don’t Need ‘Redirection’ (And What To Do Instead)</a><br />
<b>3. You feel responsible for your children’s emotions</b><br />
Here are the main reasons parents neglect to establish personal
boundaries with their children or use manipulative tools like
distraction (all of which often lead to <strong><a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/06/set-limits-without-yelling-more-toddler-discipline-mistakes/" target="_blank">yelling</a></strong>):<br />
<ul>
<li>They don’t believe a baby is really a whole person who can understand words and interact honestly.</li>
<li>They can’t make <strong><a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/09/7-reasons-to-calm-down-about-babies-crying/" target="_blank">peace with the discomfort</a></strong> they feel surrounding their child’s emotions.</li>
<li>They perceive all crying as something to avoid or fix, “<strong><a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/02/attachment-parenting-debate-for-crying-out-loud/" target="_blank">one-note communication</a></strong>”, rather than a nuanced dialogue.</li>
<li>They ride the whirlwind of their child’s disappointment, sadness, anger, etc., rather than being <strong><a href="http://abundantlifechildren.com/2012/02/19/the-tether/" target="_blank">an anchor</a></strong> with the understanding that it is essential to emotional health for children to express themselves.</li>
</ul>
This unhealthy perception of children and their feelings thwarts the
development of emotional resiliency, creates the need for even more
limit-setting in the toddler years, and will exhaust you every time you
have to say ‘no’ or insist upon something (which will be often). The
toddler years, especially, are a limit-pushing, resistant period. Your
child <i>needs </i>to behave this way in order to individuate in a
healthy manner. If you feel pained about or responsible for your child’s
daily roller-coaster of emotions, you’re going to be reluctant to set
honest limits, get tired, and probably end up yelling…or crying, which
isn’t healthy for your children either.<br />
<strong>Repeat after me</strong>: <i>Once I’ve fulfilled my child’s basic needs, my only responsibility regarding feelings is to accept and acknowledge them</i>.<br />
<b>4. Your expectations are unreasonable</b><br />
You also might be yelling because you are expecting the impossible.
Children are explorers. They need safe places where they can freely
move, experiment, investigate. Asking a toddler not to run, jump or
climb is akin to saying, “Don’t breathe.” Create and find safe places
for your children to play. Don’t expose them to materials or equipment
they can’t use as they wish and thereby set yourself up for frustration
and anger when they don’t comply.<br />
It’s up to us to avoid situations that will try our patience rather
than get caught up struggling to keep the peace and make it work.<br />
5. <b>You are confused about setting limits gently with respect</b><br />
Join the club, and please allow me to introduce you to the most well-tread section of my blog: (<a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/category/parenting/behavior/discipline-behavior-parenting/" target="_blank">HERE</a>) I also recommend the blogs <strong><a href="http://regardingbaby.org/" target="_blank"><i>Regarding Baby</i></a></strong>, <strong><a href="http://notjustcute.com/" target="_blank"><i>Not Just Cute</i></a></strong>, <i><strong><a href="http://abundantlifechildren.com/" target="_blank">Abundant Life Children</a></strong>,</i> <strong><a href="http://mamaeve.com/" target="_blank"><i>Mama Eve</i></a>,</strong> <i><strong><a href="http://auntannieschildcare.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Aunt Annie’s Childcare</a></strong>, <a href="http://coreparentingpdx.com/" target="_blank"><strong>Core Parenting</strong></a></i> and <strong><a href="http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><i>Teacher Tom</i></a></strong> for their wealth of helpful advice and advocacy for respectful limit-setting.<br />
6. <b>You needlessly enter into power struggles </b><br />
It takes two to struggle, so don’t engage. You are not your child’s
peer; you are her capable leader. So, instead of taking your child’s
healthy, age-appropriate button-pushing behavior personally and going to
that “uh-oh” place that leads you to yelling:<br />
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
a) <strong>Make eye contact with your child and confidently state a limit</strong>: “It’s time to brush your teeth.”</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
b) <strong>Give a simple choice or opportunity for an autonomous decision</strong>: “If you can come now, we’ll have time for a second book.”</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
c) <strong>Acknowledge your child’s feelings of disagreement</strong>
(and welcome those feelings to continue as long as they need to, while
you continue to acknowledge them). “Oh, I know you are having so much
fun with the dog and it’s hard to stop, but it’s time. What a bummer!
You are really upset and disappointed that it’s bedtime. I <em>know</em> the feeling.”</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
As <i>completely</i> counterintuitive as this is for most of us, it works. The more you are willing to <strong><a href="http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/11/the-key-to-your-childs-heart-7-ways-it-works/" target="_blank">agree with your child’s feelings</a></strong>
while calmly holding on to the boundary, the easier it will be for her
to release her resistance and move on. How can your child continue to
fight when you won’t stop agreeing with her? This parenting “white-flag”
of empathy will miraculously dissolve the tension for both of you.</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
d) <strong>If your child still does not comply for whatever reason, follow through by taking her hand</strong>
(literally or figuratively). “You’re having a hard time coming upstairs
to brush your teeth, so I’m going to help you.” You calmly take her
hand, and then perhaps you add, “Thank you for letting me know you
needed help.”</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
This by the way, is exactly what she was doing. And once you’ve recognized that <i>all </i>of
your child’s resistant, impulsive, objectionable behavior is really
just an awkward request for your help, you’ll probably find it easier to
stop yelling about it.</div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
From www.janetlansbury.com </div>
Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-66213546119112303372012-11-29T21:08:00.000-08:002012-11-29T21:08:18.440-08:00Preschoolers at play show science skills<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"></span><br />
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When kids incessantly ask "Why?," mess around in the dirt and run their hands over everything within reach, they're not just being kids. It turns out they're also being scientists.</div>
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<span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Until recently, preschoolers were widely believed to be irrational thinkers. For most of the 20th century, the prevailing theory pioneered by cognitive development expert <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/?controllerName=search&action=search&channel=health&search=1&inlineLink=1&query=%22Jean+Piaget%22" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Jean Piaget</a> held that children roughly ages 2 through 7 cannot understand concrete logic or other people's perspectives.<span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Although young children are the only ones who truly know what they ponder, research conducted over the past decade has led many psychologists to see infants and toddlers as, in fact, capable of thinking logically and abstractly.</div>
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"The main thing is that they're drawing conclusions from data and evidence and experiences the same way scientists are - by making hypotheses, testing them, analyzing statistics and even doing experiments, even though when they do experiments, it's called 'getting into everything,' " said <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/?controllerName=search&action=search&channel=health&search=1&inlineLink=1&query=%22Alison+Gopnik%22" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Alison Gopnik</a>, a UC Berkeley psychology professor and one of the field's leading experts.</div>
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Better understanding of how children learn about the world could have important implications for their formal schooling, Gopnik argued in a recent paper published in the journal Science, which summarized studies by her and other researchers.</div>
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Kids don't have to wear lab coats to act like scientists, Gopnik said.</div>
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Teaching can backfire</h3>
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In one study, Gopnik and her colleagues showed children ages 3 through 5 a machine with a switch on one side and two disks that spun on top.</div>
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By playing with this simple device, the preschoolers were able to figure out and distinguish between the many ways it worked: The switch made one disk spin, which made another disk spin; the switch made both disks spin; and so on.</div>
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In another of Gopnik's experiments, 4-year-olds were able to figure out how to make a toy light up in just two steps instead of several. But "they only did that if the (researcher) said, 'I don't know how this toy works,' " Gopnik said. "If the (researcher) said, 'This is my toy, I'll show you how it works,' they just imitated whatever the experimenter did."</div>
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In other words, children who were led rather than turned loose didn't devise the more creative solution - an "example of how, ironically, direct teaching ... can sometimes sort of backfire," Gopnik said. "It leads to a kind of narrowing of what children are thinking about, instead of an extension or broadening of it."</div>
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Other studies show that young children, in addition to being able to ponder their own actions, are also capable of weighing the actions of others.</div>
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That was the heart of a 2010 experiment involving rubber frogs and ducks run by <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/?controllerName=search&action=search&channel=health&search=1&inlineLink=1&query=%22Tamar+Kushnir%22" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Tamar Kushnir</a>, an assistant professor of child development at Cornell <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/education-guide/" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">University</a>.</div>
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Social, statistical cues</h3>
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In the study, 3- and 4-year-olds rummaged through boxes with either mostly toy ducks and a few toy frogs, or mostly toy frogs and a few toy ducks. After an adult picked up ducks from a frog-dominated box, the children were asked to choose one of the two animals to give to the adult. The children generally chose the duck, inferring based on statistical odds that the adult preferred ducks over frogs, the researchers said.</div>
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"The amazing thing is that children didn't just pay attention to what you were picking and why you liked it," Kushnir said. "They paid attention to what you left behind."</div>
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The study demonstrates that by an early age, children can already pick up on all kinds of social and statistical cues, Kushnir said.</div>
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"We know other people think and feel and want and know, and might have different perspectives from our own and different ideas from our own ideas," she said. "These are the different kinds of things children have mastered by age 4 or 5. That's remarkable."</div>
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And kids don't need fancy toys or bright screens to learn those lessons, said <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/?controllerName=search&action=search&channel=health&search=1&inlineLink=1&query=%22Barbara+Bennett%22" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Barbara Bennett</a>, a developmental and behavioral pediatrician and head of the <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/?controllerName=search&action=search&channel=health&search=1&inlineLink=1&query=%22Child+Development+Center%22" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Child Development Center</a> at <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/?controllerName=search&action=search&channel=health&search=1&inlineLink=1&query=%22California+Pacific+Medical+Center%22" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">California Pacific Medical Center</a>. They just need simple props, blocks and books.</div>
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Vital lessons from play</h3>
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Bennett cited a patient of hers, a boy, who recently stacked big pieces of foam into an arrangement that he called the letter "T."</div>
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The freedom to play and imagine "allows them to really use their mind and look at things from their perspectives and make their own judgments and scientific thoughts, even though it may not look like science to us," she said.</div>
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Overall, experts say, there are plenty of studies that make the case for educating very young children by focusing more on imaginative play - and less on traditional reading, writing and arithmetic.</div>
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"The most important lessons children learn early in life," Kushnir said, "don't happen in a classroom."</div>
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<a href="http://www.sfgate.com/?controllerName=search&action=search&channel=health&search=1&inlineLink=1&query=%22Stephanie+M.+Lee%22" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Stephanie M. Lee</a> is a <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/?controllerName=search&action=search&channel=health&search=1&inlineLink=1&query=%22San+Francisco+Chronicle%22" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">San Francisco Chronicle</a> staff writer. E-mail: <a href="mailto:slee@sfchronicle.com" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">slee@sfchronicle.com</a> Twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/stephaniemlee" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #015660; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">@stephaniemlee</a></div>
<span style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Read more: <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/health/article/Preschoolers-at-play-show-science-skills-4068588.php#ixzz2DgBYqiXO" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #003399; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">http://www.sfgate.com/health/article/Preschoolers-at-play-show-science-skills-4068588.php#ixzz2DgBYqiXO</a></span></span></span></span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-19810494839332169712012-11-02T08:04:00.004-07:002012-11-02T08:04:44.454-07:00Flash Cards or Finger Paints: Should Academics or Play Be the Goal of Preschool?<br class="clear" />
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Flash Cards or Finger Paints: Should Academics or Play Be the Goal of Preschool?</h2>
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<em>Guest post by Amy Webb, parent, educator, and blogger at <a href="http://www.thoughtfulparent.com/" target="_blank">The Thoughtful Parent</a>.</em></div>
<img alt="amy Flash Cards or Finger Paints: Should Academics or Play Be the Goal of Preschool?" class="alignright wp-image-14305" height="245" src="http://imaginationsoup.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/amy.gif" title="amy" width="175" /><br />
If you are the parent of a preschool-aged child, you have probably
put quite a bit of thought into what type (if any) of preschool to
enroll your child. If you’re like me, you had no idea how complicated a
decision this could be until you started delving into the topic.<br />
<h2>
Play Based vs. Academic</h2>
One of the first things I discovered when learning about preschools
is that there seems to be an emerging distinction between “play-based”
and “academic” programs. On the face of it, many parents might have a
tendency to gravitate towards the “academic” preschool model. Isn’t this
the best way to prepare my child for the school environment he will
face in the future? Isn’t a high-stakes academic environment what he/she
will experience once they enter formal schooling? And herein lies the
crux of this issue (in my mind). We, as parents, may feel that academic
rigor is the definition of “quality” in K-12 education and so it must be
the same for preschools. If we look at the research in early childhood
education, however, we find this is not necessarily the case.<br />
A quick review of the academic <a href="http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/early-instruction-makes-kids-dumb/">research</a> on this topic reveals that this recent <strong>emphasis on “academically rigorous” preschools may, in fact, be undermining youngsters’ ability to learn and be creative.</strong> Several recent <a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2288402/#A">studies</a> have
compared young children’s learning when provided either (1) direct
instruction about a toy from a teacher, or (2) time to explore a toy on
their own with little adult instruction. The results were quite clear:
preschoolers who were “taught” how to use a toy by a teacher, did use
the toy as instructed; but that’s all they did. They did not try to find
any other features of the toy that the teacher did not explain to them
and they did not try to use the toy in new ways. By contrast, the
preschoolers who were given no direct instruction on the toy, they found
new features of the toy and new ways of playing with the toy that the
direct instruction group never noticed. So it seems that preschoolers do
learn from direct instruction, but they are not as creative or flexible
in their learning as when they are just left alone to learn by playing.<br />
<h2>
Young Children Learn through Guided Discovery</h2>
This research points to a key aspect of child development that may not be readily apparent: <strong>young children do not learn the same way adults learn.</strong>
As adults, when we learn a new task, most often we are given direct
instruction from someone else or perhaps we read instructions from a
manual. Young children, on the other hand, do not learn most effectively
this way. Their form of learning is what psychologist Alison Gopnik
calls “<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/16/education/edlife/EDSCIENCE.html?scp=1&sq=Alison%20Gopnik&st=cse">guided discovery</a>.” This involves the <strong>child exploring an object or task in their own way while watching an adult or older child perform the task.</strong>
The key difference, it seems, is that the child is not directly
instructed on how to use an object or perform a task; they simply figure
it out through their own exploration (i.e., play).<br />
Of course, as children get older there is a need for direct
instruction. Skills like reading and writing would be difficult, if not
impossible to learn through a “guided discovery” type of learning.
However, trying to provide rigorous academic direct instruction at the
preschool age is essentially putting the cart before the horse.
Preschoolers are still in the discovery stage; they are not yet ready
for routinized learning.<br />
<h2>
Academic Preschools Lead To Long-Term Problems</h2>
In fact, this type of academic drilling may undermine their interest
in learning all together. The tricky part of this equation, however, is
that kids in “academic” preschools may in fact learn their ABC’s sooner
and be able to recite memorized information back to adults on cue. This
is appealing to us adults. I admit, the thought of seeing my toddler
name numbers, letters, and even phonic sounds seems exciting. What
research is beginning to show us, however, is that this immediate
“payoff” in the form of routinized learning may come at the expense of a
real interest and love of learning. A <a href="http://ecrp.uiuc.edu/v4n1/marcon.html">study</a>
by researchers at the University of North Florida showed just this.
They followed 160 children who experienced three different types of
preschool settings: child-initiated (e.g., play-based), academically
directed, or a combination of the two. These children were followed and
their academic performance tracked until fourth grade. The results
showed very few differences in the children’s school performance in
early elementary school. By the time the children reached fourth grade,
however, <strong>the children who attended the academic-focused preschool showed a gradual decline in academic performance (i.e., grades)</strong>.
Of course, this is only one study, but research of this type implies
that children pushed into academics too soon may miss out on a more
integrative, curiosity-driven approach to learning that they will need
later in life.<br />
<h2>
Preschool Should Be . . .</h2>
In many ways this research reiterates what we’ve know about preschool for awhile. <strong>The
real benefit of preschool is in learning life skills like social
skills, self-control, and persistence, not necessarily in any “academic”
skills.</strong> <a href="http://www.thoughtfulparent.com/2010/09/hidden-effect-of-early-childhood.html">Research</a> from
30+ years of Headstart and similar programs have provided strong
evidence for this. Kids who attended those preschool programs (most of
whom are economically disadvantaged) did better than their peers in
school and in life, but not because these programs helped increase their
IQ. Researchers found it was the social skills they learned in
preschool that put them ahead of their peers on many aspects of later
achievement. One of the primary goals of preschool is to help students <strong>develop</strong> <strong>self-regulation</strong> and play-based preschool promotes this goal in a better, more child-friendly way. <a href="http://www.parentingscience.com/teaching-self-control.html">Research</a>
has continued to show that self-regulation is a better predictor of a
child’s later academic success (and life success) than IQ tests or
academic tests.<br />
Sure, preschool may also help kids learn their ABCs and colors, but
the interaction with peers and teachers is what really seems to matter.
Well-known British pediatrician <a href="http://www.childsplaymagazine.com/Quotes/index.htm" target="_blank">D.W. Winnicott put it this way</a>, “<span style="color: #003366;"><em>It
is in playing, and only in playing, that the individual child or adult
is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only
in being creative that the individual discovers the self.</em>”</span><br />
<strong><img alt="Play vs. Academics 225x225 Flash Cards or Finger Paints: Should Academics or Play Be the Goal of Preschool?" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-20687" height="225" src="http://imaginationsoup.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Play-vs.-Academics-225x225.jpg" title="Flash Cards of Finger Paints: Should play or academics be the goal of preschool?" width="225" />Bio: </strong>Amy Webb is stay-at-home mom to a 2 year old son and author of the blog <a href="http://www.thoughtfulparent.com/">The Thoughtful Parent</a>.
While completing her PhD in Human Development and Family Sciences she
realized how little of the academic research about child development and
parenting actually reaches the average parent. With The Thoughtful
Parent she “translates” the latest child development research from
academic lingo to a parent-friendly format. Amy also contributes monthly
to the parenting blog <a href="http://www.parentsareimportant.com/">Notes on Parenting</a>.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-78221327854423518252012-10-27T09:03:00.001-07:002012-10-27T09:03:57.472-07:00Mud Is Good! Ten Easy Ways to Connect Your Family to the Joy of Nature<span class="dropcap">S</span>hort on Vitamin N? Here’s a brief list
of nature activities to help you connect your kids, and yourself, to the
health and cognitive benefits of nature time. (For a more complete
collection of 100 actions, for families, schools, and communities see <em>Last Child in the Woods,</em> from which the following suggestions are drawn.)<br />
<img alt="" class="wp-image-6442 alignright" height="438" src="http://www.childrenandnature.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/MUD-IS-GOOD-infographic.jpg" title="MUD IS GOOD infographic" width="280" /><br />
<ol start="1">
<li><strong>Invite native flora and fauna into your life.</strong>
Maintain a birdbath. Replace part of your lawn with native plants. Build
a bat house. For backyard suggestions, plus links to information about
attracting wildlife to apartments and townhouses, see the National
Audubon Society’s <a href="http://www.audubonathome.org/yard">Invitation to a Healthy Yard</a>. Make your yard a National Wildlife Federation (NWF) <a href="http://www.nwf.org/backyard">Certified Wildlife Habitat</a>.</li>
<li><strong>Revive old traditions.</strong> Collect lightning bugs at
dusk, release them at dawn. Make a leaf collection. Keep a terrarium or
aquarium. Go crawdadding — tie a piece of liver or bacon to a string,
drop it into a creek or pond, wait until a crawdad tugs. Put the garden
hose to good use: make a mud hole. (Your kids will sleep well later.)</li>
<li><strong>Help your child discover a hidden universe.</strong> Find a
scrap board and place it on bare dirt. Come back in a day or two,
carefully lift the board (watch for unfriendly critters), and see how
many species have found shelter there. Identify these creatures with the
help of a field guide. Return to this universe once a month, lift the
board and discover who’s new.</li>
<li><strong>Encourage your kids to go camping in the backyard.</strong> Buy them a tent or help them make a canvas tepee, and leave it up all summer. Join the NWF’s <a href="http://www.nwf.org/">Great American Backyard Campout</a>.</li>
<li><strong>Take a hike</strong>. With younger children, choose easier,
shorter routes and prepare to stop often. Or be a stroller explorer. “If
you have an infant or toddler, consider organizing a neighborhood
stroller group that meets for weekly nature walks,” suggests the
National Audubon Society. The American Hiking Society offers good tips
on how to hike with teenagers. Involve your teen in planning hikes;
prepare yourselves physically for hikes, and stay within your limits
(start with short day hikes); keep pack weight down. For more
information, consult the <a href="http://www.americanhiking.org/">American Hiking Society</a> or a good hiking guide, such as John McKinney’s <em>Joy of Hiking. </em>In
urban neighborhoods, put on daypacks and go on a mile hike to look for
nature. You’ll find it — even if it’s in the cracks of a sidewalk.</li>
<li><strong>Be a cloudspotter or build a backyard weather station.</strong>
No special shoes or drive to the soccer field is required for
“clouding.” A young person just needs a view of the sky (even if it’s
from a bedroom window) and a guidebook. Cirrostratus, cumulonimbus,
or lenticularis, shaped like flying saucers, “come to remind us that the
clouds are Nature’s poetry, spoken in a whisper in the rarefied air
between crest and crag,” writes Gavin Pretor-Pinney in his wonderful
book <em>The Cloudspotter’s Guide.</em> To build a backyard weather station, read <em>The Kid’s Book of Weather Forecasting,</em> by Mark Breen, Kathleen Friestad, and Michael Kline.</li>
<li><strong>Collect stones.</strong> Even the youngest children love
gathering rocks, shells, and fossils. To polish stones, use an
inexpensive lapidary machine-a rock tumbler. See <em>Rock and Fossil Hunter,</em> by Ben Morgan.</li>
<li><strong>Encourage your kids to build a tree house, fort, or hut.</strong>
You can provide the raw materials, including sticks, boards, blankets,
boxes, ropes, and nails, but it’s best if kids are the architects and
builders. The older the kids, the more complex the construction can be.
For understanding and inspiration, read <em>Children’s Special Places,</em> by David Sobel. <em>Treehouses and Playhouses You Can Build,</em> by
David and Jeanie Stiles describes how to erect sturdy structures, from
simple platforms to multistory or multitree houses connected by rope
bridges.</li>
<li><strong>Plant a garden.</strong> If your children are little, choose
seeds large enough for them to handle and that mature quickly,
including vegetables. Whether teenagers or toddlers, young gardeners can
help feed the family, and if your community has a farmers’ market,
encourage them to sell their extra produce. Alternatively, share it with
the neighbors or donate it to a food bank. If you live in an urban
neighborhood, create a high-rise garden. A landing, deck, terrace, or
flat roof typically can accommodate several large pots, and even trees
can thrive in containers if given proper care.</li>
<li><strong>Invent your own nature game.</strong> One mother’s
suggestion: “We help our kids pay attention during longer hikes by
playing ‘find ten critters’—mammals, birds, insects, reptiles, snails,
other creatures. Finding a critter can also mean discovering footprints,
mole holes, and other signs that an animal has passed by or lives
there.” (For inspiration, take a look at the finalists and winner of
Clif Kids’ 2012 <a href="http://www.clifkidbackyardgame.com/index.html">Backyard Game of the Year</a> contest.)</li>
</ol>
<span class="dropcap">F</span>or more suggestions, in addition to <em>Last Child in the Woods, </em>a number of recent <a href="http://www.childrenandnature.org/reading/">books</a> offer great advice, including <em><a href="http://www.slowfamilyonline.com/fed-up-with-frenzy/" target="_blank">Fed Up with Frenzy</a>,</em> by C&NN’s Suz Lipman, <em>I Love Dirt! </em>by Jennifer Ward, and the free booklet <a href="http://www.greenheartsinc.org/Parents__Guide.html"><em>A Parent’s Guide to Nature Play</em></a> by Ken Finch. Also, the classic <em>Sharing Nature With</em> <em>Children</em> by Joseph Cornell. Online, <em><a href="http://www.naturerocks.org/">Nature Rocks</a></em> is another good resource.<br />
<img alt="" class=" wp-image-6410 alignleft" height="159" src="http://www.childrenandnature.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Tiny-discoveries-capture-lots-of-attention-1024x682-300x199.jpg" title="Tiny-discoveries-capture-lots-of-attention-1024x682" width="240" /><br />
And of course visit the <a href="http://www.cnaturenet.org/">Children & Nature Network</a> for
more ideas for your family and community, including an action guide for
change, toolkits to create a Family Nature Club or become a Natural
Leader, resources for Natural Teachers and pediatricians — as well as
state and national news and the latest research. Connect with the
grassroots campaigns and efforts of others around the world. And please
tell us how your own family, school, organization, or community connects
young people to nature.<br />
<br />
____________<br />
<a href="http://richardlouv.com/books/last-child/excerpt/"><img alt="" class="alignleft wp-image-6416" height="101" src="http://www.childrenandnature.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Second-Edition-jacket-condensed-194x300.jpg" title="Second Edition jacket condensed" width="65" /></a><br />
<em><a href="http://www.richardlouv.com/">R</a></em><em><a href="http://www.richardlouv.com/">ichard Louv</a> is </em><em>Chairman Emeritus of the <a href="http://www.childrenandnature.org/">Children & Nature Network</a> and </em><em>the author of ”LAST CHILD IN THE WOODS: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disor</em><em>der” and ”<em><em>THE NATURE PRINCIPLE: <em>Reconnecting with Life in a Digital Age</em></em></em>.”</em>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-18175812940702171722012-09-17T15:26:00.001-07:002012-09-17T15:29:39.597-07:00Mothering Your Self MOTHERING YOUR SELF <br />
By <a href="http://www.jessicasorci.com/" target="_blank">Jessica Sorci, MA, MFTI</a><br />
<br />
In those first days, weeks and months after having a baby, every new
mother undergoes immense physical, emotional and psychological change.
The change is all-encompassing and completely overwhelming at times,
even to the most well-adjusted, best supported mom. Just as her
pregnancy gradually, but utterly transformed her body and her ideas
about herself, her postpartum experience is also utterly
transformational, but this time in an immediate, full-speed-ahead way
that isn’t the least bit gradual and is entirely unrelenting. As a
therapist who works with new moms, and as a former new mom myself, I
have seen and known the intensity of this kind of life transformation up
close, over and over again. Sometimes the intensity of the
transformation creates or stirs up anxiety, despair and depression.
Some new moms get entirely swallowed up in the fear and despair and some
just visit those feelings on occasion. I believe there are some
specific ways we can help protect ourselves from getting completely
swallowed up and ways we can help ourselves recover when we begin to
sense the overwhelm encroaching. Let's explore...<br />
<br />
If I were to name the single most powerful contributor to anxiety and
despair in the postpartum period it would be LACK OF SLEEP. Creating
opportunities for uninterrupted sleep is critical to maternal wellness.
If you are able to arrange even one or two nights a week of really good
sleep you will find your mood improves dramatically, just knowing you
can expect and count on getting these little (but HUGELY important)
breaks for true sleep. If you are particularly sleep-challenged, here
are some ways you might consider reconstructing your life so that you
can get the sleep that is required to feel and to function reasonably
well:<br />
<br />
* Ask family members (moms, sisters, nieces, aunts, grandmothers) if
they can come spend the night and take over the nighttime duties
(feeding, holding and changing your little one) so that you can close
your bedroom door and sleep uninterrupted.<br />
<br />
* Hire a night nanny or a postpartum doula if you can afford to.
Even if it's just one or two nights a week, you will benefit immensely
from being able to put in ear plugs, get truly comfortable and SLEEP for
at least 4 continuous hours. Hopefully twice, consecutively in one
night.<br />
<br />
* Have your partner take over night duties on his nights off. I know
it's not how your partner dreams of spending his days away from work
but remember, your partner is not also recovering from giving birth,
making milk (if you're breastfeeding) and is not linked up and hooked in
to the baby to the same degree that you are...meaning, your partner's
body has a lot more time and resources available for restorative
activity than does yours. Your partner has a huge advantage here in
terms of energy. He can sacrifice those Friday and Saturday nights for
the greatest good of the whole family, allowing you to get some quality
sleep while he tends to the baby and sleeps in a separate room from you.<br />
<br />
Without some decent sleep we cannot be well. Without our wellness
our families suffer. Truly, make this the top priority for yourself
every day. At some point your baby will be sleeping longer stretches at
night and not requiring the level of care he/she needs now (I
promise!). But in those times when baby isn’t sleeping, make certain
you have a plan in place to protect your own sleep. I can’t overstate
the importance of this one.<br />
<br />
Many new moms also suffer from the near complete loss of free time
and the grief and guilt that seem to accompany that loss. We yearn for
the ability to take a long, hot shower, watch a movie, think the
thoughts we want to think, linger over a meal…and there is absolutely
nothing wrong with wanting and missing all of those ways we used to
live. I would go so far as to say, it’s incredibly healthy to yearn for
all those ways we used to live, for those are the ways we knew how to
take care of ourselves and the ways we knew how to feel joy and comfort
and wellness. The fact that you miss your old life is really a good
sign – that there is a life in you that wants to re-engage and
re-emerge. However, many new moms have a tendency to feel this desire
and this yearning is in conflict with being a “good mom”. A “good mom”
would be content just being a mom – just holding, feeding, changing,
bouncing and tending to her little one 24/7. Right? Ahem. Very few
humans would find complete fulfillment in such a rigorous, repetitive,
and in some way (dare I say) unrewarding job. Loving your baby and
being a wonderful, responsive, attuned mother is not at all in conflict
with having a need for a self. The challenge and the conflict are
really around managing to have both. And if I’m telling the real truth
here, in the early days and weeks and months, baby’s needs win out most
of the time. Often there just aren’t enough hours in the day or helping
hands and frankly there isn’t sufficient ENERGY to allocate a
reasonable chunk to mom’s very real, very valid needs. But with a
little effort we can usually arrange for some small chunks of time on a
regular basis in which to care for ourselves. Those small chunks of
time are priceless and are, like sleep, critical to maternal wellness. <br />
<br />
I’ve given some thought to creating a list of ways to replenish
sanity/energy/wellness if you have only a small chunk of time. I
suggest you add to this list and then use it at least twice a week –
once a day preferably. And even if you only have a few minutes, invite
yourself to really become present, to really inhabit your body in the
moment. Become aware of your breath and of the sensations in your
chest, your face, your arms, neck and back. Here we go:<br />
<br />
<u>If you have 15 minutes to Mother Your Self:</u><br />
<br />
* Take a shower and use a candle or cleanser that feels or smells wonderful.<br />
<br />
* Call a good friend/family member to connect – someone you can REALLY talk to.<br />
<br />
* Make a delicious snack.<br />
<br />
* Read a magazine or go online for fun<br />
<br />
* Lay down and rest.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<u>If you have 30 minutes to Mother Your Self:</u><br />
<br />
* Take a relaxing bath. Close your eyes and allow yourself to feel the warmth and the weightlessness of the water.<br />
<br />
* Sit down and eat a nutritious meal. Chew slowly and savor the taste and the sensation of being fed.<br />
<br />
* Take a walk in your neighborhood. Turn your attention to the way
your body feels. Notice what it's like to move without holding a baby.<br />
<br />
* Go to a nearby coffeehouse and enjoy the feeling of being in the world, and being free to linger a bit.<br />
<br />
* Take a short (but hopefully sweet) nap.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<u>If you have 1 or 2 hours to Mother Your Self:</u><br />
<br />
* Arrange for a gentle, loving postnatal massage. Treat yourself. <br />
<br />
* Go to your favorite restaurant and eat something you are truly hungry for.<br />
<br />
* Go to a movie and let your mind travel somewhere entirely different
from your current life. Do some advance research to ensure that the
movie is uplifting and not scary or depressing.<br />
<br />
* Chamomile tea, earplugs, pillows, close the door and SLEEP.<br />
<br />
* Find an entertaining, enjoyable book and lose yourself in a wonderful story.<br />
<br />
* See a therapist to talk and feel supported in this particularly challenging time.<br />
<br />
* Go someplace in nature that you find beautiful - the ocean,
mountains, a lake, a park and soak it in. Walk, meditate, breathe and
immerse yourself in the beauty and wonder of the natural world.<br />
<br />
* Go to a cafe and bring a notebook. Begin writing about your birth
story, your current experience as a new mom, or something entirely
different. Take this time to explore the contents of your own mind -
often our thoughts and impressions receive very little floor time and
yet there is so, so much to process and metabolize.<br />
<br />
* Go to a yoga or meditation class. Take some time to get in your
body and give it some love. Doing so in the presence of others can feel
like an entrance back into the world.<br />
<br />
Add to this list and keep it nearby so that you can use the bits of “free” time you have to nourish yourself.<br />
<br />
<br />
There is nothing on earth as important as creating and raising a
child. Nothing. Mothering means infusing a new little body and
consciousness with love, making manifest through your presence and your
responsiveness an experience of the world as a safe, welcoming place.
Imagine for a moment exactly what it takes to imbed a human being with a
real conviction that they are loved and with the desire and confidence
to launch into life full of curiosity. Oh, and also, to equip that
person with the ability to tolerate struggle, pain, failure and loss
(because sadly, those things will surely come at some point). Yes, this
motherhood thing is quite an endeavor. Many of us are faced with the
crushing realization that we have had very unrealistic expectations of
perfectionism for ourselves as the mothers we envisioned ourselves being
(prior to motherhood). We thought we could do it all and do it all
perfectly (or at least REALLY, REALLY well). When we become parents we
are forced to realize that we cannot possibly do it as well, as
flawlessly as we had fantasized because it is in fact a 24 hour a day
job that sustains for somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 years and
challenges pretty much every facet of our entire being. Thankfully, we
also learn that perfection is neither required, nor is it even
desirable. "The good-enough mother...starts off with an almost complete
adaptation to her infant's needs, and as time proceeds she adapts less
and less completely, gradually, according to the infant's growing
ability to deal with her failure..." (Donald Winnicott ,Transitional
Objects and Transitional Phenomena, 1951). Part of
learning to be a good enough mother is learning how to care for the baby
and the little girl in our selves even as we care for our children. It
turns out that the better we care for the baby inside of us, the better
we are able to mother the baby in our arms. <br />
<br />
This blog is written with the intention of addressing that little
person inside of you who has perhaps been neglected since the birth of
your baby, or maybe even longer than that. Some of us have never
received the kind of mothering that we now expect to be able to give to
our children. How can we give what we have never received? Ahhh. Now
that we know exactly what it is we want and need to be able to GIVE, we
know exactly what it is we need to receive. That’s right. You need to
find a way to give yourself at least a sliver of what you are now oozing
from every orifice. Love. Food. Rest. Attention. I’m talking about
Mothering Your Self.<br />
<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-83961470682790196632012-06-12T10:45:00.000-07:002012-06-13T15:48:21.458-07:00A New Elementary School<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>By Mandy Demmert - Explorer Parent</i></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I was a teacher for 8 years before my second daughter,
Cailin, was born. Education has always
been on my brain. I have a lot of
opinions about how education, elementary education in particular, should
be. Since my 3-year-old, Abby, has been
at Explorer, kindergarten has been on my mind. I am realizing that it is coming
faster than I am ready for (are we ever ready for it?!). My husband and I have been talking a lot
about elementary school since the last 12 months.
We are both concerned about our
public school. I taught in public
schools for 8 years, but I can confidently say I will not send my daughters to
our neighborhood school (for numerous reasons).
We have begun looking into other options, including private schools.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I received an e-mail from Abby’s Las Madres play group about
a very intriguing alternative. I have
heard wonderful things about Discovery Charter School in the Moreland
District. We are in the Campbell
District, so I knew that getting into Discovery was a hope and a dream. It is lottery to get into charter schools,
and being out of the district, our chances are slim. This year alone there were 700+ applicants for the
kindergarten class at Discovery.
Obviously, there is a great desire for education that follows the
Discovery model. Thus, the quest has
begun to develop Discovery II. The link to the new school’s development is:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.discoveryk8.org/DCS_II/index.html" target="_blank"><i>http://www.discoveryk8.org/DCS_II/index.html</i></a><i><u><o:p></o:p></u></i></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Here are a few quotes about the Discovery philosophy:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“Curriculum is aligned to each student’s developmental level
to allow children to feel successful regardless of academic level.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">"</span><span style="font-size: small;">Students should have time to develop at their own rate and
be presented with daily opportunities to learn at their own developmental level
in each academic area.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“…students learn from each other, from teachers, and from
cross-age tutors.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">"Curriculum should be designed around themes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“The brain is pattern-seeking and looks for connections
between pieces of information.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">D</span><span style="font-size: small;">iscovery II will be a mirror of Discovery 1 (in terms of
curriculum, philosophy, and teaching style).
The location has yet to be determined, but it is likely to be in
Campbell or San Jose. There are so many
details yet to be worked out, but the plan is for the new school to open with
Kindergarten through third grade in the fall of 2013. The school needs to decide if they will be a
part of the county or be part of a district (districts tend to be very hesitant
to include charter schools for a variety of reasons). If the school belongs to the county, the
applicants will be admitted regardless of their home district. If they belong to a district, the applicants
will likely be favored if it is their home district. Funding varies greatly based on which of
these affiliations they chose and there are advantages to
each. They are also considering using
Proposition 39, which would have to be voted upon. To learn more about using Prop 39 and charter
schools<span class="msoDel"><del cite="mailto:Brian%20Demmert" datetime="2012-06-01T23:49"></del></span>, go to <i><a href="http://www.calcharters.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">http://www.calcharters.org</span>.</a></i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">It is exciting for me to see the creation of a school,
especially a school I am passionate about.
Obviously, the intent of my being a part of this group is that my girls
will be granted some kind of preference in the lottery when they begin school. Nothing is guaranteed at this point, but it
is exciting to see more schools being founded with this philosophy of parent
involvement, positive discipline, and a child-centered education. It is drastically different from almost every
other public school I have seen. I am honored to be a part of the founding of
this school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">If you are interested in learning more, I urge you to come
to the next planning meeting on June 5 at Discovery School and join the yahoo
group by emailing <i><u><a href="mailto:Discovery2-subscribe@yahoogroups.com" target="_blank">Discovery2-subscribe@yahoogroups.com</a>.</u></i></span><o:p></o:p></span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-79250007379268056662012-05-31T13:47:00.001-07:002012-06-06T14:40:18.646-07:00Parenting from the Inside Out: Book-related Discussion<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">By Fouzia Ahmad, an MWF parent</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
After some thought-provoking discussions on this great book at our March and April PECs, I thought it might be a good idea to follow-up with some of Kent Campbell's colleagues on questions that we may not have had a chance to get answered. I caught up with one of the panelists, Dolat Bolandi, a licensed marriage and family therapist, providing psychotherapy to adults, couples, and teens in Los Gatos, and presented these questions to her. Read on to know what she had to say:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<i>Q. As a
psychotherapist, what about this book stands out to you?</i></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;">DB: I like the
fact that this book really shows in a more concrete, evidence-based fashion how we
are affected by our primary relationships. It also delivers hope and a way to
heal both as parents and in helping our children develop in a more conscious,
connected way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<i><span style="color: #1f497d;"> </span>Q. The book talks about emotional attunement with your child; that
is attuning to the emotion inside your child before you change the
external behavior. How do you think
current day practices such as Ferberizing fit into this model? If we let our child cry it out until
they “give up” on thinking that anyone is going to come get them, isn’t
that---according to the author---just fixing external behavior without
really attuning with our child?
How do you think this might affect children as they grow older and
the nature of their attachments to their parents?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;">DB: The Ferberizing method has been
taken in many extremes, which is not helpful. Letting a
child/baby get to know their own frustration and learn how to self-soothe is an
essential skill that needs care and time. </span><span style="color: #1f497d;">Letting the child cry to the point
that he or she has to give up is---intuitively---not attuned. </span><span style="color: #1f497d;">On the other hand, hovering over the
child constantly and “fixing” everything is intrusive and equally not helpful.
In my opinion, one of the main messages of this book is asking the parents to
invest in getting to know <i>themselves</i> as they are getting to know their child, so
that they can separate and focus on what is needed in the present moment rather than their unmet
needs of the past.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">
<i>Q. If the low road, by
definition, means that the higher-level processes of the brain have shut down, is it even possible, at a physiological level, to stop yourself and get out once you are immersed in the low road? Should you be attempting to fix the
problem when it's actually happening, or later, after you have recovered and
reflective capacity is restored?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;">DB: I think the first task is to get out of the low road, the state that activates the fight or flight response. For example, taking deep breaths is known to
help reverse the fight or flight reaction. By definition, we can have access to more of our internal resources, and therefore, respond more effectively.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">
<i>Q. Sometimes kids lie to get out
of trouble. On the other hand, sometimes
kids lie because they do not want to feel “exposed” and want to maintain their dignity. Are the mental processes within
a child’s brain different in both cases of lying, and should parents handle
both lying scenarios differently?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;">DB: I am not sure how the mental
processes compare in the two scenarios. When a child lies, I do want to explore
and wonder what is behind the lying. For example, depending on the age of the
child and how imaginative the child is, he or she may not truly be lying in
their own mind. When there is lying based on fear, as a parent, I would want to
see how I can change the dynamic around so there is more room to tell the truth
and still set limits. So digging deep inside to see what the child may feel and
to be able to put words to their experience can be an effective way to connect.
For example, “It must be hard to see your sister get a new dress, while you
don’t,” is one way to connect in an empathetic fashion, without either “fixing” the problem or getting rid of feelings of jealousy. It can give permission
to the child to experience difficult feelings and know they are OK. The feelings can be known, but don’t
have to be acted on. Kids need kind and firm limits.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">
<i>Q. A section in the book offers
some examples on how to resolve trauma or loss and suggests using reflective
statements in this regard. One example
about a young child who has a change in her babysitter is as follows: “Anna
took care of you since you were a baby.
You probably didn’t want her to leave.
Do you still wish you could see her every day?” I think this is great, but what should be the
conversation that follows? You know,
after the child, all teary-eyed, says, “Yes, I do.”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;">DB: This can tug at every parent’s
vulnerability to want to have their child feel better quickly. The idea is to
continue to give words to the child's experience with empathy and a sense of
connection. Perhaps a response could be
to continue reflecting. For example, “I hear how much you miss her, and
it’s hard to not see her every day.” This is a great example of how one
can practice grief in life. Tears are a part of grieving, and having others
around who are willing to bear it with you is also an essential part of passing
through life's losses, both big and small.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4736409489634471518" name="_GoBack"></a><i style="color: black;">Q. During
our group discussion, you had given us an analogy comparing children’s
emotional behavior to that of pregnancy.
Would you repeat that here so that it may benefit our readers?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;">DB: I was comparing how when one is
pregnant, the fetus/baby feeds off of the mother's body, and needs the mother’s
body to digest and get rid of toxins as well. Emotionally, the same metaphor
continues. Children need their parents in order to be nurtured, and also to help digest and
get rid of the "toxins". For example, this is especially visible when a young
child keeps it together all day, but as soon as his or her mother or father comes in, the child's behavior
falls apart. This child needs the parent to help digest all that he or she has taken in
through the experiences of the entire day.</span><br />
<div style="color: black;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">
<i>Q. A large section of the book
presents the science behind attachment and the brain. But the scientific information about
interpersonal neurobiology can be overwhelming for many of us. Can
you provide a couple of "gems" of information from amidst all of
it that you consider key to bettering us as parents?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;">DB: </span></div>
<ul style="font-family: inherit; margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #1f497d; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;">Develop your support system. Be around other parents who are
willing to be honest and share how joyful and how messy it is to be a
parent. </li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #1f497d; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;">Self-care is crucial. It’s about being able to ride the high
roads. </li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #1f497d; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;">Mindfulness practices (yoga, meditation, etc.) are effective
ways to develop the muscles that allow us to be able to observe, respond, and not
react. </li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #1f497d; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;">Don’t wait too long to get support. You don’t have to be in
trouble to be in therapy; it is also a place for growth and can be a preventive approach.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #1f497d; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;">Have fun and leave room for mistakes.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">
<br />
<i>Q. What do you think is the
most important thing for parents to think about after reading this book?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #1f497d;">DB: To me, this book also delivers a
lot of hope: our attachments can continue to reshape, but needs conscious effort on our part.
This is an ongoing process. It is part of our makeup to revisit the past
(consciously or not) in an effort to heal and grow---just like our children. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Dolat Bolandi, M.A., is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Gatos, providing psychotherapy to adults,
couples, and teens. For more information on her services, you can check out: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.dolatbolandi.com/index.html"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">http://www.dolatbolandi.com</span></a></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
<br /></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-47611162992563677972012-04-28T02:10:00.000-07:002012-04-29T18:02:51.414-07:00Screen-Free Week 2012: April 30 - May 6<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<i><span style="font-size: small;">By Teacher Annie Castle Deckert</span></i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EZgPiKv9exE/T5vHJ_H2heI/AAAAAAAAAEM/QPrPvZOnwIE/s1600/screen+free+week+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EZgPiKv9exE/T5vHJ_H2heI/AAAAAAAAAEM/QPrPvZOnwIE/s320/screen+free+week+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Screen-Free Week:
What a concept! When my kids were
little, I sort of “knew” that TV-watching wasn’t the best way for my children
to spend their time. But what I didn’t
understand is that kids who watch less TV (or better yet, <i>no</i> TV) become better and better at the thing they need most: play.</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Twenty years ago, while agreeing in principle with the idea
of spending a screen-free week with my preschoolers, I’m sure I would have been
slightly horrified at the thought of a week without even a minute to myself.
Like many other parents, I used the TV as a babysitter. A couple of kids’ shows everyday gave me
time to catch up on something, take a shower, or just hear myself think. I
didn’t realize then that an hour of TV everyday was making my kids more needy
and demanding. I was a tired, struggling mom with busy, active kids, like most
preschool moms I know. And yet, I’m challenging <i>YOU</i> to try committing to
Screen-Free Week. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">One nugget of wisdom I’ve acquired: Television and other
screen-related activities reduce children’s ability to think and create. This results in kids who are more whiny, more
bored, and more unhappy than nature intended.
Children who aren't used to being entertained don't miss it---because
they are expert at entertaining themselves.
A child who has a steady diet of TV, movies, and video games has less
faith in his or her own imagination, and finds it more difficult to play. Honestly:
if I had it to do over again, I’d get rid of the TV when my kids were young.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Diane Levin is an expert on the effect that media has on
children and has authored several well-known books about it, including <span style="color: #262626;">"So Sexy So Soon", "The War Play
Dilemma" and "Remote Control Childhood."</span> Here is what she has to say about
Screen-Free Week: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Screen-Free Week is a fun and innovative way to improve children's
well-being by reducing dependence on entertainment screen media, including
television, video games, computers, and hand-held devices. It's a time for children to unplug and play outside,
read, daydream, create, explore, and spend more time with family and
friends. And, of course, Screen-Free Week isn't just about snubbing
screens for seven days; it's a springboard for important lifestyle changes that
will improve well-being and quality of life all year round.</i> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Other info and expert commentary can be found at:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">www.commercialfreechildhood.org</span></a></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I would encourage parents to give their kids a break
from electronic media, even if the first few days may be a bit
frustrating. Kids often fuss at first
about the things that are best for them.
But parents who are willing to persist through the whining will
eventually be rewarded with the joy of watching their kids play, create,
converse, learn, and explore. Even movies, video games, and TV shows that are
supposedly designed for children offer very few opportunities for any of these
high-quality, brain-enriching screen-free experiences.
Screen time is always inferior to real life, in terms of satisfying learning
experiences. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">On my blog, you’ll find a long list of things you can have your kids do
instead of watching TV or playing video games:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.teacherannieexplores.blogspot.com/"><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">www.teacherannieexplores.blogspot.com</span></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Happy Screen-Free Week,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Teacher Annie</span></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-90068939307450444622012-03-30T11:11:00.004-07:002012-04-01T04:17:41.619-07:00Teachable Moments<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>By Peri Kraus, an MWF parent and board member</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"></div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">I never really understood the idea of a teachable moment. I mean, aren’t they all teachable moments? Every moment of the day that I’m with my kids, they are figuring something out. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s, well, not so good. Like right now, as I’m writing, I look up to find my son, scissors in hand, eyeing the dog, the scissors inching closer and closer to the dog’s hair. So, I remind him that his scissors are not for cutting the dog’s hair and proceed to give him a piece of paper instead. Teachable moment right there, right? Well, maybe...</span></div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">Like most moms, I try to teach my kids the importance of showing kindness toward others, be it through their action or their words. Although at times I do falter, I try to watch the way I speak and behave so as to act as their guide. When I make a mistake, I acknowledge it and promise to try harder to make better decisions. The big thing right now is the word “stupid”. I never realized how much people fling this word about until I had kids!</span></div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oyHBoe3Goak/T3g1BAPr-sI/AAAAAAAAADw/ADKQEMuPuHE/s1600/man+and+dog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="194" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oyHBoe3Goak/T3g1BAPr-sI/AAAAAAAAADw/ADKQEMuPuHE/s200/man+and+dog1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><span style="font-size: small;">The other day at the park, there was a dad hanging out with his kids and their dog. The dog was so cute. He was playing fetch, running in circles around everyone. He was so happy-go-lucky. My kids were loving it. Eventually, the dad decided to come over to the swings where his and my own children were playing. Of course, he brought the dog with him, and of course, the dog was still excited. The dad started berating the dog, calling it all sorts of names, including “stupid”. My stomach turned. My heart dropped. How could this man, a father, with kids, standing nearby no less, behave like this? How dare he, after all the time I’ve put into teaching my kids and trying to set a good example for them?! Should I say something, so that my kids know that his behavior is unacceptable, or should I leave it be. Maybe my kids won’t notice?!</span></div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">I watch my kids. My mind is racing. What do I do? What do I do? My daughter’s eyes are wide. She’s stopped swinging at this point and is just staring at this dad. He leaves. She hops off the swing and comes closer to me. </span></div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">“<i>Mommy, that man called his dog the “s” word,</i>” she says.</span></div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">“<i>Hmm, I heard. What did you think about that?</i>” I ask with baited breath.</span></div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">“<i>He didn’t sound very kind. He should have shown more kindness and respect for his doggy by using better words. It made him look not very smart.</i>”</span></div><div class="Body" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="Body" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Insert sigh here. By not getting involved, I allowed my daughter to use everything I had armed her with for this exact type of situation. Teachable moment, indeed...for both of us.</span><span lang="en-US" style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10pt;"></span></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4736409489634471518.post-2877423463305592312012-02-12T05:13:00.000-08:002012-02-12T05:19:34.611-08:00What Sets Us Apart - The Explorer Commitment<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">By Teacher Konne Ainsworth, Explorer Director</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Several commitments at Explorer have set the course of the school. <b>The commitment to parent education definitely sets us apart.</b> There is often confusion about parent education and parent participating. There can be a huge difference between the two. At Explorer, we are not just a school with parents “babysitting” kids and washing paint brushes. We train parents to be good observers not only here, but at home. We train parents to work in a professional way with children, using the tenets of positive discipline and using observations to teach the developmental norms of each age group. We budget for parent education classes (PECs) that are the envy of some schools. We try to have excellent classes and challenge parents to be better parents at the school, at home, and in the community. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Another commitment is to have high quality teachers and hold them to a high standard</b>. Our teachers are highly trained and have experience and a commitment to professional growth. The board at Explorer is very supportive of the teachers and continues to respect their input and also implements the programs that the teachers value. Our teachers have also worked and played together for years and have mutual respect for each other, helping one another be the ‘best that they can be.’<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>We are also committed to giving the teachers autonomy to develop curriculum</b> and provide enrichment activities that other schools cannot provide, such as art shows, dad’s days, and field trips, which include the Monterey Bay Aquarium and summer camps, to highlight fun activities for mixed ages. Our curriculum is based on Developmentally Appropriate Practice and is aligned with Creative Curriculum, but includes the California state curriculum framework standards for preschool.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As the director, I encourage teachers, parents, and children to embrace the natural world, while acknowledging that we are in Silicon Valley, a science Mecca. Science is the foundation of learning, so I believe that teachers and children need to ‘explore’ the world as it relates to children. We encourage the scientific method and promote inquiry in all areas of learning.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>A big decision and commitment was made to move to Willow Glen.</b> We have enjoyed the facility, building a $160,000 yard complete with vegetation, which supports children learning in a safe, challenging, and natural environment. We love the outdoor classroom: with its water play, garden, physical challenge area, and large enough space that fosters independence. Willow Glen was surprisingly multi-ethnic, and we have enjoyed the many cultures that have joined to make the Explorer community. It is nice to teach in a community that embraces diversity, so we can actually ‘live it’, instead of just reading about it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And, I also feel I made a good decision with my commitment to stay on at Explorer---to grow and learn as a parent, teacher, and member of the community. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0